(Closed) Family and their friends being negative!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Angkinah:  If I was getting married for a 3rd time, I would elope. 

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

if my friend/sister was getting married a 3rd time i would be wondering again/why the fuss – sorry but its the truth

if this is your FI’s first marriage i would want to give him a wedding but if not i would consider eloping/keeping it private & exclusive

Post # 5
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@eloping:  wow that is pretty rude

 

Why the fuss…because it is a marriage…..

 

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@sylvia.riggle:  ha! so were the first 2 – its how i would feel. especially if i had to sit through and buy gifts/travel for various other showers/parties/weddings. i can understand some family having issues with getting excited

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t think she should elope, it may be the first marriage for her Fi, and she hasn’t said if she has had weddings before. Even if its not her first wedding why shouldn’t she get to celebrate the commitment she is making with this partner.

It isn’t nice, but you should sit down with family friends and listen to their concerns, and try not to be defensive. Speak honestly about your feelings, and the amount of work and dedication you are will putting in relationship, and why you love your Fi, and why you think it’s different this time. Then tell them and acknowledge it a hard, awkward and tricky situation but that you would appreciate their support.

However, I think you need to sit down and seriously think about what your mother, family, and friends have to say. It’s coming from a place of love. Of course it’s going to raise eyebrows. This may be the marriage that sticks and works. I think considering everything they are saying are good for your relationship and marriage as it will give you a lot to thank about. Good luck! You also need to realize because this is your third marriage and if it is the third time you had a wedding people aren’t going to be that excited about it, and might not be interested in attending, or getting gifts and all that. I wish you the best of luck.

Post # 8
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I have agree that for the 3rd marriage…having a huge wedding seems kinda ridiculas to me….. not trying to judge you or anything but you cant expect people to get all excited when you have went through this twice before. Sorry 🙁

Post # 9
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re under no obligation to invite people who don’t support your wedding – I wouldn’t. It’s completely up to you and your Fiance to prove your mother/everyone else wrong – hopefully time will tell and she’ll realize he’s right for you.

Post # 10
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@eloping:  I can see where you are coming from but I have to wonder if it is the groom’s third marriage as well, or perhaps his first. There are some men out there that would be saddened by the idea of not having any wedding experience.

OP my best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor has been now married three times as well. Her family gives her crap about it and when she announced that she would be getting married a third time they of course had their issues with the idea. She hadn’t planned on a big wedding but her now Darling Husband really wanted those moments too and so they planned a small, intimate wedding that was a compromise for them both. It was a beautiful wedding for 50 of their closest family and friends and in the end everyone seemed to be happy with the overall result, plus the wedding allowed for her family to really accept the third marriage as well.

I wish you best of luck with your wedding (regardless of the size) and your family! They will come around, just be honest with them and if they hurt you then tell them.

Post # 11
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@eloping:  Agreed.

OP, you have to understand that your family and friends have already gone through this with you twice before. Of course they are a little skeptical.

Post # 12
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If it was my daughter, who had two failed marriages behind her, I would hope she would elope.  Why put your family through all that again? 

However, your mother should keep her displeasure to herself and not make a spectacle out of you.  She does not have to agree with your decision to get married a third time, but she should still respect it. 

Post # 12
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

@Treejewel19:  i did post above if it was his 1st i would want him to give him a “wedding” – he shouldnt miss out because its her 3rd

Post # 14
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@eloping:  I think it’s comical that people jumped on you, even though I said the same thing. What’s up with that? lol

Post # 15
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@eloping:  yes and if were were talking about casual friends and acquaintances I would agree with you, but this is family

I don’t know how large her ceremonies were  last time, or how far apart the marriages were

 

But family should be expected to put on a smile and attend the ceremony without complaints—if they don’t feel that lavish gifts are appropriate that’s one thing, but being cruel is a diff story

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