(Closed) Family angry about no children at reception

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 316
4036 posts
Honey bee

I know I’m not directing this at the poster I should be; the one who suggested the parents could pay for what it would cost to host their kids. But do you have any idea how much it costs to host a wedding these days? We’re not talking about a $5 kids’ meal, that can be served to each child.

For my daughter’s wedding kids 12 and under would have been half price – around $100 p.p. to host. The venue charged the full adult rate for all guests 13 and up, and those 12 and under, who requested the adult entree – no discount, for 5 hours of open bar. That included gratuity, 4 plated courses, a huge amount of cocktail hour food, cake, dessert bar, etc. It also included around $25 p.p. for non food/drink, like tablecloths (plain ivory), chair covers, centerpieces, valet parking, and rental decor.

Her wedding was 21 and up. There was some grumbling from the groom’s side and my Mother-In-Law, who always complains about something, but no one offered to pay one dollar towards hosting the kids. I can’t even remember the last wedding I attended, where all the kids were invited. I’m guessing 50 years ago – back when I was 10.


Post # 317
75 posts
Worker bee

Did No Kids Not Okay specifically and purely start up an account with that name and go through hundreds and hundreds of pages to find a six year old thread after Googling for a wedding board, just to get angry about a wedding she isn’t going to that is taking place currently?

Lawwwwwwwwd, do I love the internet. Thank you, No Kids Not Okay. Thank you.


Post # 318
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Annabelle86 :  You are so right.  OP, stick to what you want. It is your wedding and if people are going to be this rude and entitled it is probably better that they stay home. 

EDIT: Just realised how old this post is. Sorry to bump it again!

Post # 319
2130 posts
Buzzing bee

I know this is an old thread, buuuut…

We just had a child-free wedding, and the parents of little ones were thrilled to get a night away (in actual fact they got a hotel and made it a weekend!). I’m also so happy we decided no kids. 1) It was totally stress free not having to worry about little kids, and 2) holy rabies people got DRUNK! And fairly early! The Girlfriend of a Groomsmen vommed back into her champagne glass, a former coworker I adore fell over multiple times, glasses were dropped, and taxis were called. NOT appropriate for children, and had parents brought their wee ones with them they would have had to leave super early. 

Post # 320
129 posts
Blushing bee

So the sanctity of their vows is less because your grandchildren weren’t there to ‘witness’* them?

Look I wouldn’t (and didn’t! I’m two week so married) exclude family children from my wedding either, but this wasn’t my wedding, and my opinion on the guest list doesn’t matter. Same with you.

If you are that close to your nephew, at a shame for him that you are being so nasty and unsupportive of him. Shame on you.

*sit getting very bored and possibly start playing up.

Post # 321
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

It’s your party.  If you want an adult only event, it’s completely up to you.  I wonder if these people would bitch about kids not being invited to cocktail parties.  

My parents were the kind of people who brought their kids to everything.  Being the only kids at a dinner with a bunch of my dad’s coworkers was so booooring!  I really wish they could’ve understood that kids don’t belong at every event you get invited to.  

Post # 322
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Carolyn72 :  If someone can’t be away from their kids, the right thing to do is gracefully decline the invitation, and not spend money on a gift.  They don’t get to bitch to the bride and groom about the guest list.

Post # 323
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

This thread is old but the topic is still relevant. I don’t understand people who take this issue personally. Either happily accept or graciously decline, not that hard. We’re having an adult only wedding. Not explaining our choice to anyone or making exceptions. Its an invitation, not a summons. One of my sisters may not come bc of this and I’m 100% ok with that bc its her choice as a parent to decline. I love my niece and nephew but they are exactly the types of kids I can’t stand to see at weddings who will run wild being disruptive while my sister does absolutely nothing to discipline them bc she thinks its cute and wants to ‘let them be individuals’. Mkay, thats fine but your little individuals won’t be cutting up on my day. 😉

Post # 324
177 posts
Blushing bee

I don’t understand why this is a thing. If you don’t like that your kids can’t come then just don’t come. Period. It’s very easy.

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