(Closed) Family asking for financial help -Talk some sense into me ladies.

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 121
Member
9204 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

WillowBee33 :  my mom is our granny nanny and she will be paying taxes.  i put money in the dependable spending care account to get a tax break. so my mom is our household employee, i will give her a w-2 at the end of the year and she will pay taxes.

don’t assume they are just giving cash under the table, although it might be the case. 

Post # 124
Member
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

beebee1983 :  I’m thinking because most of the time you ask for a co-signer it’s because your credit is not high enough to qualify for the loan, but if you get a co-signer with good credit you qualify for the loan because the bank sees it as, well if we can’t get money out of the sister, we can get the money out of OP.

Post # 125
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

fresitachulita :  they are lying to you. Of course students can get student loans without a job – that’s why they’re called student loans. A whole lot of us relied on them  . 

I would just say NO and leave this bunch on their own. They knew they were taking their daughter’s trust money for school. They need to take responsibility for that. Either they need to find the money or your sister does. She’s a grown up – she can apply  for loans and get a job like the rest of us. Not many people have a trust fund! Your parents could also swallow their pride and talk to grandpa who apparently has a lot of money. They need to be accountable for the money they took. They shouldn’t be able to get away with this without some repercussions. If you co-sign on this loan all their lying and stealing goes away. These are adults – they need to start acting like it. 

Post # 126
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Plus, just IMAGINE the new level of power they’d have over you with a loan and your credit hanging in the balance. You think it’s bad now with them blackmailing you with your childcare!!!! 

 

“Oh OP, if you don’t do xxxxx, we are going to stop paying the loan you consigned” 

 

😳 with manipulative parents like this, the thought just makes me break out in a cold sweat thinking about the new possibilities of blackmail they could rise to

Post # 127
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

I’m glad you decided not to cosign. Just as PP’s have stated, your parents have already proven that they were not trustworthy in the past with money. It’s a shame that they are trying to bully you into cosigning the loan and threatening to discontinue childcare unless you do so, but honestly it shows you their true colors once again. It is also a shame that they had access to your sister’s trust fund, I can only imagine how she is feeling. But honestly, that’s how the world is sometimes…just as you learned that you couldn’t depend on your parents to support you financially she has to learn that too. I paid my way through college with student loans and many many people do as well. With 25-30k for her last year she will definitely be able to repay that in 10 years (I paid off around that amount) as long as she gets a job. And maybe this will incent her to start working now! I dealt with a sort of similar situation as well, no trust fund but my grandfather had left me a fund to pay for my undergraduate education and my father was “safekeeping” it (AKA spending it) and squandered all of it, as well as all of his savings. I had to accept that reality and pay for my education (I found out when I was a senior in high school when I asked how much was in the fund). Anyway, life goes on but I just hope you can make amends with your family. Again like other PP’s have stated, your hubby is very kind for wanting to absorb the costs but I’m happy you trusted your gut and made the decision you did!  

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