(Closed) Family attire

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

i hear you – my mom’s husband is insisting on wearing the hat he always wears, covered in little gold pins.  there’s not much to be done, at least not tactfully.  the people that are traditionally color coordinated are the wedding party and the mothers of the bride/groom.  extending it out to other family members is a touch controlling, but the desire to do so is certainly understandable!

for the reception pictures, there will be other guests who will likely wear many different colors, so the main concern would be for the formal shots.  perhaps you could try and coordinate around her (place in back row??) to minimize the dress color or do some shots from the bust up, limiting the color impact.   you can also instruct the photographer to shoot around the dress if it really stands out – they probably have plenty of tricks.


Post # 4
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

It’s actually amazing how much some colors stand out. I just got married on the beach in the Bahamas and all my guests, by pure coincidence, were wearing pastely beachy colors (aqua, peach, coral, pinks, pale greens, tan, etc) My wedding planner wore a bright red suit, and when I was editing my wedding video, I found my eye following her bright red suit as she flitted around the ceremony site.

I may be a bridezilla too, but I would explain to her that she is an important part of the family, and will therefore be in many of the wedding photos, and therefore you would prefer if she would wear something that better coordinates with the rest of the family and the look that you are going for. She still has plenty of time to get another outfit.

Post # 5
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

If it was my sister I would just ask her if she really had to wear something that bright.  And then offer to pay for her to get something more appropriate. 


Is your sister going to be the one to hold your bouquet during the ceremony?  If so, perhaps fib a little and say something "Since you’re practically the maid of honor, I would like to buy you a dress to wear to the wedding."  And then pick something more subdued.

Post # 6
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Maybe this was uncouth — but no one said anything so I didn’t think twice about it.  I gave my fh’s sisters and my brother a color swatch.  I asked his sisters to buy solid color dresses that were similar to the color swatch, and I asked my brother to buy a tie that color.  One of my fh’s sisters had initially purchased a very pretty dress that had a pattern, when she showed it to me, I explained that I thought it was a lovely dress, but that my photographer had told me that solid colors would be best because when a picture is taken the eye is drawn towards the pattern.  So, if when we take the group pictures my wedding party and me are wearing solids, and she is wearing a pattern, she will become the focus of the picture.  She said she hadn’t even thought of that, and thanked me for letting her know.  I think sometimes family forgets that they will be in many of the pictures, and therefore need to "blend" in. 

Post # 7
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

i would let it go.  everyone will be paying attention to you.  don’t worry.

Post # 8
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We have no wedding party, but have given all our family members suggestions as to appropriate colors, and actually helped FI’s kids pick out their clothes (new dress for FSD, new slacks and sports coat and tie for FSS).  Everybody has had enough formal portraits to know exactly what is going on.  The only person who questioned it at all was FSD (20 yrs old) who wanted to wear orange.  We just told her that since there would be lots of photos of her with her brother, her dad and uncles, her grandmother, she needed to wear something a little more neutral, and something that would go with her grandmother’s dress.  (We also told her we wouldn’t pay for the orange dress, but would pay for any pastel color or anything from White House/Black Market – oh, the power of the checkbook!)

Post # 9
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I would really say that it depends on your relationship. If you are close enough to say something without rocking the boat, I would (and possibly suggest another dress she already owns/help purchase a new one). If not, then I would let it go. My grandmother wore a bright green dress to my father’s wedding and it became a family story. Years later, my grandmother is deceased, and my father and his brothers still smile when thinking about her "crab apple green" dress.

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