(Closed) Family Bashing The Wedding…Months Later!

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think this will help but you just have to grit your teeth and get over it.  Try to let it go completely.  Part of the experience of having different beliefs than people is being judged by a different set of standards.  If they want to see your marriage as a sham because it didn’t involve Jesus, then so what.  You know and your fiancee knows what it means to be married to each other.  You know your vows.  Try to let it go because it won’t go away.  When you have kids you might get the same reaction if you do not baptise them or if you invite Santa into your Christmas traditions.  Everyone lives by a different set of rules and you cannot please everyone. 

 

What I’m saying is that you have to accept them for who they are and when they say things like that you need to remember all the good things about them and let the rest flow like water off a duck’s back.  Sorry I’m not more help. 

Post # 5
Member
8511 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Bunny:  I agree with you. But also this is all secondhand information. I personally never believe anythig I hear from someone else. If I feel like I need it verified I go direct to the person atht supposedly said it. Often it’s the person who is passing on the second or third hand story that has interpreted it by their own standards.

Unless these family members actually say it to your face then I would take it with a grain of sale.

Maybe these things are what your MIL/FIL think and not extended family? If it bothers you I would talk to them. Also if it is true well these things were said in a private conversation that wasn’t meant to include you so your really not in a pisition to say anything unless you have never ever said anything about someone else without them present.

If it is true then yes everyone has their own beliefs and standards especially when it comes packaged with religion. Unless they are disrespectful to you in person i would just let it go.

Post # 7
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Some people like to hear themselves talk I think…. I know its hard, but ignore it and kill them with kindness if you are up to it. Be the better person (even though you already are).

Post # 8
Member
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@leebaby711:  I’m sorry this happened.  It does not sound fun.

I have a bit of a different take.  I think, to a certain extent, you are stuck with having to get over this, but that doesn’t mean that you have to let these people insult you and/or your friends, etc.  Frankly, if his uncle put that kind of crap on my facebook page, I would be sending him a message that said something along the lines of “Please do not post comments on my page if they are going to be offensive to my friends and family.  If you continue to do so, I will be removing your ability to post on my wall”.  I would then do it if he doesn’t stop.  If he continues to be a s&%#disturber, I would just remove him or block him.   

At parties or family get togethers where they make horrible comments to you, I would say “I do not choose to discuss this topic” and walk away.  You can be stronger if they don’t stop.  You don’t have to sit there and listen to someone be offensive just because they are family.

I’d like to know where your Darling Husband is in all of this.  It was his ceremony too and they shouldn’t be just coming to you with their complaints.

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