Post # 1
My family is much larger than my fiance’s and also much more spread out (aka my family members live far away, his are local). My parents are paying for a large chunk of the wedding and are being very respectful about how many guests they invite, providing their opinions, etc. Fiance’s family is not financially helping (which is fine) but also gave us a very large guest list to invite to the wedding. On top of that, they are paying for the rehearsal dinner (which is great) but keep guilt-tripping me about inviting my aunts & uncles (no cousins). However, they are inviting their entire family (including cousins) to the rehearsal dinner.
I feel like this isn’t fair because they get to have their whole family there and I don’t. I appreciate that they are paying for it but my family is paying for the wedding and let them invite as many people (family friends) as they wanted.
Is anyone else experiencing anything like this? It’s a hard subject to bring up to my fiance since he thinks his parents are struggling financially. I’m not trying to be rude, I just feel like they are thinking about my family equally 🙁
Post # 3
This is a tough situation and reminds me of Fiance and I, he used to complain if I ordered a soda in a take out order but I am unemployed now and he still thinks nothing of piling his order on top of something I get um okay? Hows that fair? But whatever. Like I’m going to have to find a way to talk to Fiance about this you are going to have to find a way to talk to yours.
Tell him how you feel and see if maybe you guys could pitch in a little or something since they are struggling. See if you can reach an agreement.
Post # 4
The thing is that you went about this wrong in my opinion. You don’t ask them to give you a list of guests they want to invite you give them the number of guests they can invite (most of the time 1/3 for each party mum & dad, inlaws, you and FI) and then ask them to provide a guest list that fits that number.
Unfortunately if the inlaws are hosting the rehersal dinner then they get to dictate the invite list. What I would do is have your Fiance talk to his parents about how it might appear to others at the dinner. That they may think that IL’s are excluding the brides family. they will probably cave.