Family Boycotting My Wedding

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Your short and long version are the same length. 

Anywho Inwould not invite her because you don’t need to put yourself through that. Others can make their decisions based on that but don’t worry about that at this stage. That is their decision and choice to make 

Post # 3
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t apologize, and don’t invite her. If others say they won’t come if you don’t, then that is their choice. Abusers and emotional manipulators are disgusting.

Post # 4
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

If you don’t even talk to her, why would you invite her? Call a spade a spade.

To your aunt’s family, I’d say “I really hope you attend my wedding. If you don’t, you’ll be missed. I will respect your decision”.

Post # 5
Member
3236 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I don’t think it’s right for your Aunt to manipulate you like this. Only invite people you want there & if they don’t come that’s their choice.

Post # 6
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

I agree with everyone who said don’t apologize and leave it up to your aunt and her family if they want to miss their niece’s wedding over drama that has nothing to do with them. 

Post # 7
Member
4020 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

You shouldn’t have people at your wedding who are so full of negativity and hate. Don’t invite your grandmother but tell your other family that you hope they change their minds because they’ll be missed. Thaty way the ball is in their court and it’s their fault for missing the wedding, not yours. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. 

Post # 8
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You absolutely do not give in. If they want to play emotional terrorist that’s on them. Don’t allow them to manipulate you like that. Ftr what they’re attempting to do is despicable. 

My cousin aunts etc tried to force me to make nice yet again with my abusive nmom. Been there. 

These people are okay with putting you in contact with your abuser. These people don’t care about your best interest. We can care about people deeply who don’t have our best interests in mind. 

Post # 9
Member
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

View original reply
misslioness :  I wouldn’t invite any of them. You don’t need manipulative and negative people in your life regardless of their relation to you.  I would not apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I know she is your grandmother but I would not be inviting her to my wedding at all based on what you have stated in your post.  She sounds bitter, lonely and unhappy and she is trying to place all the blame on you and your father. Why does she feel like this about you and your father? It’s kind of strange. I wouldn’t have any one at my wedding who didn’t truly support me or my relationship. I would just tell you aunt. I’m sorry that you feel that way and sorry that you will not be able to make it to my wedding but you will be missed and move on. They are trying to control and manipulate you. 

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

I would not apologize and not invite her. If your aunt chooses not to come with her family, that’s their choice but she shouldn’t force you to apologize and hold their attendance as a prize. 

You will be too busy on the day to celebrate with the people who love you and came to think about them… 

Post # 11
Member
2383 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

You are now an adult, getting married. You do not need to apologize to your grandmother, if you feel you have nothing to apologize for, and she is unlikely to relent if you do. 

You also don’t owe any explanations to anyone else, about the matter. They have no right to dictate your relationships, or give ultimatums on who you are close with.

Send them invitations if you wish, and don’t discuss it. I know it’s hard, be strong. Concentrate on the good things in life.

Post # 12
Member
10634 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Screw grandma and screw anyone who sides with her.

Stand your ground.

Post # 13
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
misslioness :  Let them go ahead and boycott the wedding. Do not feel the need to cave into family pressure to put up with bad behavior. xoxo 

Post # 14
Member
6974 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Do not invite your grandmother. 

Post # 15
Member
914 posts
Busy bee

Do what you need to do for yourself.

How does your father feel about it?

We ended up not inviting DHs aunt to our wedding because his mother and her do not get along. His mom told us she would not come if she was there. It really wasn’t fair to DH because he had a good relationship with his aunt, but we felt like we were pushed in a corner. So because his sunt didn’t come, his cousins didn’t either. I wish we woul dhave stood our ground. I’m sure his mother wouldn’t have missed her sons wedding. And now we haven’t spoken to his aunt since. Its really sad. 

Don’t let other people dictate your wedding. Invite and do not invite who you want. If your aunt chooses not to come then that is on her. 

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