Post # 16
Hi! I think you and your husband are very nice people; it is great how much you love your family. Usually a condo can handle 25 people especially if family but you have to compromise. Assuming there is not a common area or party room you can host the party you can be creative. I am not sure how big/no. of bedrooms but move some furniture into the bedrooms and of course put coats and shoes in there. What about doing a stand up reception/dinner. Be creative and serve only appetizers shrimp, mini quiches, chicken wings, skewers of meat galore, veggie skewers, fruit skewers, mini burgers, fancy cut sandwichs, sausage rolls, spanopita, chinese appetizers, fancy dips, make cream puff pastry and stuff with crabmeat and or cream cheese, asparagas wrapped in prociutto and do a make your own sandwich bar. a few end and coffee tables can serve as mini food bars. Work it ; use the situation. And have fun. do a gift exchange and maybe karoke some Christmas carols or get someone who can play a guitar to lead the way.
Post # 17
You can’t host an event and ask people to pay. However, you can suggest going to x bar or y restaurant for drinks/dinner and ask if people would like to join you, that’s fine. I think this is your best bet.
You could also host something simpler at home. A drop in style event like PP suggested would work, and tell everyone to please not bring anything as you will be providing light snacks and are limited for space. Again, just male it clear that it won’t be a meal and will be very informal.
But please don’t formally invite people to a meal in a rented area in a restaurant and then say ‘oh and by the way you’re paying’. There’s no issue arranging a get together where people pay their own way but you need to do it properly and make it clear from the off, and not act as though you are hosting. You are more just facilitating the arrangement (eg a group of 30 people I know are doing NYE together, I negotiated discounts and upgrades, I’m dealing with the event coordinator, I’m doing the seating plan etc, but I would not consider myself a host, I am just helping to coordinate so it runs smoothly).
Post # 18
I would do a holiday open house from like noon to 5 so not everyone is there at the same time. Make a few crockpots of something like chili or stew, some other snacks, some baked goods, and let people come and go so you only have 5-10 at any given time.
Because presumably they’ll all see each other at their respective holiday plans and if potlucks are the thing in your family they are already doing potluck dishes later in the week. This is because you don’t want to miss out seeing them so not seeing them together shouldn’t be a deal breaker. Honestly, while I would be flattered you want to see me, I would be put out that a month before you want to add in additional plans and make me pay 50-100 to see you because you feel bad about making plans with your in-laws and feel like you are missing out. That’s just growing up – sometimes you have other commitments.
Hosting stuff is awesome – I do a holiday open house about every other year. But hosting doesn’t mean do it on the other person’s dime. If you legit just can’t host anything, then make plans to invite people individually over for dinner or dessert and coffee or visit them on the weekend in the weeks leading up to and after. Christmas is one day, but doesn’t mean you can’t visit and have mini-holiday sessions with people. As families grow (and sometimes split) obligations increase and sometimes it means you spread out so you aren’t getting holiday fatigue cramming everything into the same week.
Post # 19
I don’t think I understand why you can’t just have a holiday party at your condo for your family. Just don’t have a sit down dinner, but instead decorate, buy some booze and snacks, make some holiday cookies, pop a Christmas movie on in the background…easy. 25 people hanging out standing up should be pretty easy to accomodate. Don’t make things harder than they need to be! Just invite your family over for a casual party.
Post # 20
I appreciate the thought, but yeah, being asked to pay $100 for me and Darling Husband to attend a party you’re “hosting” is inappropriate and would be a huge turnoff. Especially when you’re pointing out several people who may have a financial issue with this anyway.
I like the open house idea someone else suggested — have it potluck, if that’s done in your family, and just have cocktails and appetizers. People can drop in and out as they can.
And just one other money wrench to throw in your planning — it is already mid-November. Darling Husband and I have had every weekend in December booked up already for weeks, so there’s a chance that your guests may not even be able to come.
Post # 21
Can you buy a tent to cover your patio and host an open house or standing apps party?
Post # 22
I honestly thought it was quite common for family’s to do holiday dinners like this, a ton of places are booked for this reason already. I get the whole ‘if you can’t afford to host’ argument but this is more of a ‘hey we want to see everyone for Christmas so if you can make it, come to this restaurant for a nice family dinner’. They are all doing an actual Christmas event separately. We aren’t treating this as if we are hosting something it’s just a little get together. I did find an option that would be $25pp is that still not okay?
Most of my family doesn’t drink so the price would be all inclusive for the majority. It’s really this or nothing, like if we tried to do a dinner here the family would be split up between 3 rooms and it would be really tight…so obviously far from ideal.
Idk…I do get everyone’s point, I just really wanted to see my family and I can’t think of another way to make this work :/