(Closed) Family complaining of thank-you-card ettiquitte!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’ve always heard that you send thank yous out before using the gift. So if you’ve cashed the checks, then yeah, you’re taking too long. Besides, if you do 5 a day, you would have had then done in 40 days (10 a day would be less than a month). That’s do able for anyone.

Post # 33
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

Me and DH are taking a 10 week honeymoon to travel (we have been saving for 4 years to do this) and if people think I’ll be writing thank you notes within 2 months, they’ll be sorely mistaken. It’s not always possible. 

Post # 34
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
@jny1179:  I think writing notes the dy we receive the gift, which will in many cases be on the day of the wedding is unrealiastic. No way will I be spending my wedding night writing a note to DH’s aunty and uncle. 

Post # 35
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I think 2 months is fine.

I attended a wedding 4 months ago and havent received a thank you. I feel that is too long–especially when they took the time to do Christmas cards  

Post # 36
Member
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

For  300 people writing 5 a day would take 2 months and that doesn’t include a honeymoon if you took one. Personally for me I’m shooting for 2 but will for sure have them done in 3. I think you are ok but at this point knowing people are complaining I’d get them done asap. Don’t stress too much! 

Post # 37
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think two months is fine.

I would only get annoyed if a) I hadnt received a card after six months b) I got an incredibly generic card which wasnt even slightly personalised and just said “Thanks! From John and Jane” 

Even then, I’d like to think I wouldn’t complain about it on Facebook! That’s kind of unnecessary, in my opinion. 

As others have said , I would just get them out as soon as possible. I wouldn’t put any kind of apology in the card. 

Post # 38
Member
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

The longest a person should wait to send a thank-you card is 2 months. Though, guests have longer to send a gift after the wedding. Yes, I would assume after 2 months a thank you card was not going to be sent. 2 months, tops. Should be sooner.

Post # 39
Member
10450 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That’s ridiculous and petty of them. Lots of people wait for their pro photos to make thank you cards, and two months is perfectly reasonable for that. These people just need to unknot their panties and get over it. 

Post # 40
Member
6516 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@alicroo86:  i had my custom thank you cards sent out at the 2 month mark.

I tgink if a couple can get the thank you cards out before 3 months thats terrific. I went to a wedding 5 months ago and I have still not received a tha k you card and honestly I am a little annoyed and I have a feeling they are not going to send one. I know that you have a year to send them out but its rude to wait that long. 

I would suggest what PP said and have your mom relay the message that you are still working on them

Post # 41
Member
9845 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think 2-3 months is pretty much the max you should wait, and the earlier the better obviously. I had 90 guests and did all my thank you’s in an afternoon, so I don’t really see why it would take so long to send them out. A year is definitely not acceptable.

Post # 42
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would write them when I’m good and ready! 

What on earth is the big frigin deal about thank you cards?! What, do people need that as our proof or something?!?!

(I need to stay away from this topic on here.)

Post # 43
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

OP, did you get all of your presents on your wedding day? I have been getting a lot in the weeks leading up to the wedding and writing them as I get them. I would make it a priority, not just because they are complaining, but because people took the time to attend your wedding and spend money on you. Enlist your husband and cut the list in half that way. You shouldn’t be responsible for every single note.

Post # 44
Member
1163 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@alicroo86:  well I’m still waiting to receive a thank you card from a wedding I attended 3.5 years ago, and a thank you card from a shower I attended 9 months ago but that’s another story…………………..

The guest of yours who posted on Facebook about wedding etiquette, needs a lesson on etiquette herself. 

 

You giving yourself a 3-4 month window to send out all thank you cards is sufficient. The sooner you can send yours out, the better it is. If you are getting thank you cards with wedding pictures printed on them (part of your photographer package), then it is very difficult to send them out within 2 months. As 

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@MrsStayPuft:  stated, don’t worry about what others Bees would do, as everyone’s circumstance is different.

 

Post # 45
Member
3235 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@Rubbs:  Seriously, regardless of time it takes to send, you don’t see why its important to send a thank you when someone gives you something? 

Post # 46
Member
8469 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

View original reply
@carolinabelle:  Do we or do we not take time from our reception to walk around and say hello and thank you to everyone?! I never in my life even thought about a thank you card after I attended a wedding. I just can’t believe people ask for one let alone sit around and dwell about it. 

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