Family cruise clashes with pregnancy plans

posted 2 weeks ago in Family
  • poll: Would you be fine if your husband took off on a cruise while pregnant?
    Hell no, need his support : (12 votes)
    14 %
    Sure, why not : (71 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 31
    1834 posts
    Buzzing bee

     Supernurse :  The photo was from 2017, but the illness is happening right now :/ 

    Ironic that you were on that exact ship!


    Post # 32
    613 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    Sephiroth :  I mean, most of us don’t have vacation time to take multiple big vacations each year, so decisions have to be made. Plus, with aging parents, there are never any guarantees, so if my husband wanted to go on a trip like this with his family so much that it’s a bucket list item, that’s big. Beyond that, if OP has health issues and has all these reasons to expect a rough pregnancy, will she really be up for more than a weekend getaway anyhow? If she has complications as expected, it’s not like she’ll be able to jaunt off to London for a week (plus, I’d argue that big crowds and public transit germs are nastier than cruises). Have husband take the cruise, do a few fun weekend getaways if she’s able, and they can go on a family vacation/leave the kiddo with parents for a big trip down the road. 

    Post # 33
    12321 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Whether or not OP conceives, she’d be giving up their only couple trips this year. I do not think that’s reasonable under any circumstances, especially hers. 

    Supernurse :  I beg to differ. 

    Post # 34
    3651 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    jonasbutterfly :  While you never know if you’ll run into fertility issues or just take a while to conceive (it happened to us), I still think it’s smart to be planful. I’ve missed out on family vacations due to them being planned after my husband and I had already booked our own trips and not having the resources to do both, and it sucks for a moment, but it’s not the end of the world. When I saw this thread title, I thought of my own current situation. I’m starting IVF this month and my cousins are planning a family cruise for next Christmas. If we’re successful, then I should be due with a baby in October or November, which means no cruise for us. Thankfully we have time to see how things play out and could probably book later since it’s so far in advance, but I’m planning on having my hands full with a baby next Christmas and would rather do a babymoon vacation with my husband over the summer. Best of luck deciding! 

    Post # 35
    9588 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would not plan your life around TTC. You never know how long it will take. 

    If you don’t want to go, then don’t. If it’s truly a bucket list item for your husband, then I’d tell him to go. If you both go, get trip insurance and enjoy yourself. There’s more to do on a cruise than just drinking.

    And unless you’re like, ready to pop, there is really no reason to need your husband by your side every second of your hypothetical pregnancy.

    Post # 36
    803 posts
    Busy bee

    I would personally take the pregnancy out of it and discuss going with your husband on the basis of how it would effect your other vacations or available PTO. 

    If you both want to go on the cruise, get insurance and book away. If you don’t want to go regardless, maybe one of your vacations you plan together can be a compromise and can be a short cruise to a destination you’re excited to see. You don’t mention anything about what kind of cruise, or what ports it includes, or whatever. All cruises are not created equal.

    Post # 37
    2575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Book the cruise, and then make adjustments if needed.  I know it’s a lot, but worse case scenario (if you cancel within a specific timeframe) you’ll be out the deposit.  

    TTC is a crazy whirlwind and you can’t put your entire life on hold.  If you do end up having fertility issues, the cruise could be a much needed break from reality.  TTC put Darling Husband and I through the wringer like no other and it was a vacation that helped give us back a piece of our sanity. 

    Post # 38
    2021 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    sarathemermaid :  Thanks for the info. I’ve read various averages, some women have undiagnosed fertility issues, and I have PCOS and am a bit depressed with TTC right now. I always tend to believe the higher numbers from studies I’ve read, but I admit I’m influenced by my own fertility issues.

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