So, I have a 3 year old nephew. He is wild, unpredictable, & Very stubborn…But cute as a button. My sister is his mother & a bridesmaid. We had all originally decided that he wouldn’t be present for the wedding and reception (that last until midnight). He is just at the age & stage that he might not do so great in a crowd of 200 people I didn’t want my parents running after him all night. i thought my sister might enjoy a night off as well to relax and enjoy the evening without chasing him & worrying what he is getting into. Now that the wedding is 3 months away she says to me…”I think you might regret not having him there later in life”. I feel so torn, everyone I have talked to says he’s young, a boy, & won’t even know what he missing. Opinions?
show her the you tube video that was posted here recently of a screaming flower girl?
Actually I’d say, “What kind of involvement were you thinking he should have, because I thought we had all agreed on the best approach.”
ETA: Do you think you would like to have him play some small role in the wedding? If so there is probably some way to make it work out, but if you are doing it to please others, I think it’s fine to say that you’re happy with the decision already made.
Thank you for your opinion. I once thought of him & my fiance’s nephew (1 year old) to do something but we decided fiance’s nephew was too young & didn’t want mine to have a part & not his. I’m really worried about upsetting my sister even though I had already made my decision.
Why would you regret not having him there? It’s an adult party.
I had two little nieces (on DH’s side). It was nice that they were there for the ceremony (not as flower girls, just on their parents laps) and were in a couple of photos. (Though it’s not a photo I have on the wall and it wouldn’t matter too much if I didn’t have it). But I totally forgot they were the reception until I watched the video again recently (my wedding was many years ago). So I certainly wouldn’t have regretted not having them there.
And besides, since then I’ve acquired a whole lot of other nieces and nephews (and my own children) who obvously couldn’t be there.
What I am saying is that, in 10 years time, it won’t matter whether or not your 3 year old was there. (And it certainly won’t matter to him, he will barely remember it if at all).
@JessPoz: It sounds like she’s been thinking about seeing him in a little tux and would love a picture of him like that.
Are you doing pictures first? Maybe let her get the little tux … have him in some family pictures all dressed up, but then send him off with the sitter.
Or just say that you really don’t have the energy to revisit every decision about the wedding. You’re comfortable that he won’t remember being in the wedding (so you’re not depriving him of some huge experience), you’re comfortable that you won’t have to worry about unpredictable behavior and that you’re happy with the decision already made.
I’m divorced now, but when I was married before, my nephew was 3 and was definitely a handful. He was supposed to be the ring bearer and then leave with his father after the ceremony, but he refused to go down the aisle. However, the pictures I have off him earlier that day are priceless, and now that he’s 8, he loves looking at them and seeing himself in a tux.
@JessPoz: my daughter who was 2 at the time was flower girl to my sisters wedding…my daugter danced ALL night until 9 anyhow and then my Mum took her home…she was the star of the show!..it worked out great but it was a casual type wedding outdoors so when my daughter set of a car alarm no one minded lolol…I gave her teh car keys to keep her quiet and she pressed the alarm button…was very funny though..I find that the more people around the more entertained the little ones are.
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