(Closed) Family drama….

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
11616 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

CookieLady:  give her the gift back, and calmly tell her that she needs to grow up and accept that there are all different versions of faith and non faith, and last you checked, “God” had appointed her his/her spox. 

I have no tolerance for people shaming adults over their private religious beliefs and she never should have hit you. The end. 

Post # 3
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee

Ugh. Fundamentalists and zealots….pushing their beliefs on others since the Dark Ages. 

You are entitled to your beliefs just like she is. Her behavior towards you is offensive, to say the least. I wouldn’t concern myself with a response nor would I take the time to send it all back. If your mother wishes to return it, ok. Otherwise, to Goodwill it goes. 

Post # 4
Member
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

If you send it back, I would say something to the effect of “While I appreciate you remembering my birthday, I respectfully send the gifts back.” Although I agree that she was completely rude for forcing her beliefs on you, I’d take the high road but also include that you prefer that she discontinue any attempts to shame you into believing – that it is not enlightening or encouraging in any way. 

Post # 6
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

As a Catholic, I’m ashamed of your Aunt and offended for you. Assuming you live in the US, I’d send the jewelry back with a copy of the first amendment. Or I’d just throw it away. 

Also, her actions are very much not Christ-like. Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do To You must have been lost on her. I’m sorry she’s such a twat. But I wouldn’t let her bother you. 

Post # 8
Member
3448 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Wow, she really crossed the line there.

I’d send the stuff back with a note saying, “While I appreciate your efforts to share your beliefs with me, I will continue to follow my own path in life.” 

I find pushy people get REALLY annoyed when you kindly tell them to stuff it.

Post # 9
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

I would have said you were being perfectly respectable – it’s a pity your aunt can’t respect your beliefs.  I’d definitely send the jewelry back, probably with a note saying something like “dear Aunt xxx, thanks very much for remembering my birthday recently.  However I am unable to accept your gifts so am sending them back to you.  I would ask that you respect my beliefs and do not try to pull me back towards Catholicism.  I am secure in myself and my beliefs – as you are – and I would appreciate that being recognised.  Please respect the choices I have made as I respect yours.  Love, your niece.”

Post # 11
Member
4823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

CookieLady:   I think you were very respectful of your family and their religion.  You are fully entitled to your own views, as you know.   Personally I think organized religion is an oxymoron, but I digress.  If you do choose to write a note, please simply say that you are returning her gift in hopes she will find a more appreciative recipient for it.   Keep it short – any more is a waste of good ink.  😉

Hang in there!  *hugs*

Post # 12
Hostess
1477 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

CookieLady:  Hey lady, I’m sorry you’re so irritated; your situation definitely sounds frustrating and I want you to know that I feel for you.  The one thing that I have learned from dealing with difficult people like this is that no matter how logically you explain your position, no matter how rational or polite you are, and really, no matter what you do, she is never going to get it.  People like that operate in an alternate universe, so it would probably be best to try not to let it get to you too bad.  Feel free to come vent here anytime you need it though, we all know she’s crazy and out of line!!  🙂

Post # 14
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I’d send the “gift” back with a note explaining that you won’t accept gifts that aren’t given in the true spirit of giving and that she shoud examine her own conscience because she is not behaving with true Christian charity or humility. If she was really secure in her faith she wouldn’t feel the need to push it on others. I’d also add that as an adult I am prepared to respect her beliefs if she respects mine.

I’d also greet any future public outbursts from her with  the calm observation of “I see you’re creating a scene again. Have you thought about how it shows a lack of dignity and modesty?”.  She assumes she’s allowed to get away with this bs because she never gets any push back. I’m not saying you need to exacerbate matters but you should be allowed to stand up for yourself, and if you’re not leave. The rest of your family will come around and tell her to pipe down as well if necessary.

Post # 15
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

CookieLady:  I totally feel your pain. I too am a Pagan from a strict Catholic family and my grandmother actually cut me out of her life because of it. Yes it is sad, no it is not your fault, and in the end the one who is missing out on your happiness with life is the person pushing you away. It took my family almost 10yrs to come to grips with the fact that I simply am not and will never be a Christian again and still they are hesitant and just simply avoid the subject at all costs. Stay true to yourself and know the sting will fade. Love and light.

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