Post # 1
So over the weekend I found out that my mother’s marriage to my step-dad is about to end. She told my brother this and made him promise not to tell me because my wedding is in about 5 weeks and she doesn’t want me to know until the wedding is over. My brother and I are super close, so of course he told me and now I’m kinda freaked out. My dad died when I was 16, so he’s not around. When we sent of STD’s my dad’s sister told my mom that she wanted to throw me a shower, then never said another word about it. Which is fine, I don’t expect anything from anyone, it’s just a bit disappointing. Then, the other day, my step-dad’s sister contacted me and told me she wants to throw me a shower. She sent out invitations and it is this Sunday. I’m really worried about this. I pretty much have to pretend that I don’t know that my mom and step-dad are on the verge of a divorce. I’m super worried that they are going to be angry once they find out. I’m afraid they are going to be mad at my mom for allowing them to throw me a shower knowing that she is about to leave the family. I’m so worried they will be upset that they bought me shower and then wedding gifts. And yet I can’t say or do anything because I’m not supposed to know. I’m sad because I feel like my wedding and shower are just going to add to the drama of the divorce. It really sucks to be getting married in the shadow of my mom’s divorce. Has anyone been through anything similar? Any advice?
Post # 3
It’s not about you or your wedding. It’s about them and their relationship. If you’re going to be close to him/his family after the divorce anyway the shower is a good time for people to practice being “grown up” about things and interacting with one another on a social basis. There is not reason that you or your wedding should be effected by what is going on in their relationship. Think about it, kids of divorced parents get married all the time and they manage to have a fun wedding. Personally I don’t think anyone should have been told they made this decision until after your wedding was over, especially since it’s really no one’s business and your big day is so close!
Post # 4
I understand that it is about their relationship, and I will support my mom 100% in whatever she decides to do. The problem is that I highly doubt that I or any of my siblings will remain close to his family after they divorce. I don’t really know his family that well, as I moved out of the house only a few years after my mom married him. I just don’t want his family to be pissed that they spent money on me and my Fiance, only to basically never see us again after the wedding. And from what I’ve heard so far, my step dad apparently doesn’t care much for me or any of my siblings.
Post # 5
Your step-dad’s sister is giving you a shower because she wants to. I’ve hosted showers for young women who I weren’t close to but did so because of my relationship with their Future Mother-In-Law or mom. This is okay because it is in support of a young couple starting their life together. She wouldn’t have offered if she didn’t care in some way. You have nothing to do with the relationship of your mom and step-dad. Don’t worry about having a continuing relationship after your mom separates from this family. I’m just sorry your mother didn’t keep this information to herself until after your wedding.
Go enjoy your shower, bring a gift for the hostess, be gracious to each person there and enjoy yourself. Best wishes.
Post # 6
@MissChirpie: Wow, my mom left my stepdad a couple of months ago too. It’s crazy. It’s like you’re super sad about your famsily, and yet so happy about your wedding. Really hard place to be in.