(Closed) Family Drama After Wedding

posted 4 years ago in Family
  • poll: Who needs to apologize here?
  • Post # 2
    Member
    9522 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    rfensholt :  

    I answered in your other post and I said

    Well your updates make it clear to me  that they were actually in the wrong and  and were petty and silly and unreasonable.

    That being said, forget it OP  , not important , don’t give it headroom and  certainly don’t  exacerbate the situation by seeking apologies.

    Let it die a natural death and  how about you post a pic or  two of you and new husband and how nice  you looked ,and let  us  focus on that instead

    And I still say that .Dearest OP,  stop poisonlng  your early married days with this stuff.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

    Nope they sound nuts to me. I might be biased though bc I’m in a similar situation. I knew my little sis was going to be weird about her hair too so I literally told her right after I got engaged that my bms will get to pick their dresses as long as they were blue and have whatever hair style they want as long as it’s up since mine would be half up half down. She freaked(as I knew she would) and said she wouldn’t look good with her bangs so I said either u where it up or u can be a guest not a bm. I also said I’d at for the up dos. So so far she said she’ll wear it up and that she’s growing out her bangs ( her idea not mine). Well see the day of what happens but I’m dreading it. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    9522 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    rfensholt :  

    A pleasure. Now let us have a peek at  a pic or two?

    Post # 6
    Member
    2762 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

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    elderbee :  +1

    View original reply
    rfensholt :  Unless you want to start a family feud that could impact your future relationship with his entire family…time to extend a mild olive branch and start putting this episode behind you.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2108 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I am so sorry! I would not apologize or admit to any “wrongdoing” but I would make it clear to them that you want to move past this incident and continue working on your relationship. You didn’t do anything wrong, they acted like selfish brats, but for the sake of your marriage, I urge you to avoid letting this turn into a massive thing. Don’t apologize- you didn’t do anything wrong- but there is no need to seek an apology from them. I hope things start to improve soon! Your wedding was beautiful and you looked gorgeous!

    Post # 8
    Member
    6338 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    Congratulations!!!  Love your pics!

    Post # 10
    Member
    766 posts
    Busy bee

    oh, this all sounds familiar. Though things were worked out eventually, people didn’t speak to husband and me in one case for years after the wedding. Reason apparently was about the same. That we were selfish is thinking that the wedding was about us and our wants, we should have realized that it was a day to put the families wishes first before our own. Mind you, we didn’t get much of any offers from them to help either, and didn’t hear until I got a phone call 3 weeks before the wedding that anyone was upset. They had plenty of chances to voice if they were unhappy with the plans they knew we were making.

    In our case  think a lot of it was actually that we didn’t put parents names on the intvite, we listed ourselves as hosts which we were.

    it was pretty clear that certain people thought we should have taken what they wanted more into account with every detail. We actually didn’t really know what their wishes were since they weren’t telling us until the last minute. I dont think you did anything wrong. It’s not their wedding day, it’s yours. I bet when those same sisters marry, they will expect everyone to recognize their days as their own. If it’s any conselation, you are not alone- these things seem to happen a lot. I think they were just jealous and feeling down that the day wasn’t about them. I dont think you did anything wrong at all.

    BTW- your pictures are beautiful 🙂

    Post # 11
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee

    Congratulations. Love your pics. Your dress was beautiful! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    535 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

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    rfensholt :  Leave it! Any feelings you may have to air about his family, let them go – I know it’s easier said than done but having just gotten married myself and been a spectator to much family/girl drama as well – I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in all the drama but remember this:

    Your wedding is about you and your DH. Let the rest of it slide, and enjoy your newly married life! Congrats!! XX 

    Post # 13
    Member
    228 posts
    Helper bee

    Your pictures and expressions look like you had a fabulous day best wishes for a long and happy life together. While I am not a fan of telling people how to wear their hair, I do think they are being petty and insecure.  I would let it go and act like nothing happened, you have a long life ahead with this family.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    13228 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Why were the dates there if they weren’t invited? If that’s true, that was extremely rude and inappropriate on their parts. Contrary to what many people here believe, etiquette is clear that just because they are in wedding party, does not obligate you to invite them with dates. However, if you agreed they could come, even last minute, it was your obligation to greet them at the wedding, not the other way around. 

    Are you sure it’s a good idea to post their pictures? Telling a story about family drama and including pictures of the actual people involved doesn’t seem like a very wise or considerate thing to do. 

    As I said in the other thread, you were completely nappropriate about the hair. You get input into the dress and that’s all. You don’t have control over personal grooming and it wouldn’t have made the slightest difference in any case.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1304 posts
    Bumble bee

     

    It sounds like a blessing that they aren’t speaking to you. Enjoy the peaceful silence!

    And never apologize. They were 100% wrong.

    The topic ‘Family Drama After Wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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