- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
My fiancee has 2 younger brothers. One lives far away (GA, we’re in MA) but we have a good relationship with him, his wife, and 2 year old daughter. We make an effort to see each other several times a year, with and without the assortmany of parents and step-parents. We’re the godparents of his daughter, and we were on vacation with them when we got engaged. We asked our niece to be our flower girl which they are thrilled about. My fiancee’s other brother lives pretty close by with his expecting wife, but we don’t see them much. The relationship between fiancee and this brother is a bit tense because he is manipulative and cruel to their wonderful father (messy childhood divorce). Fiancee’s father and this brother are not speaking which is painful to all due to the baby on the way. This brother has already begun asking if the unborn baby will be invited to our wedding in October which we have avoided. We are concerned this brother is going to use the baby as a weapon and it will be a very painful situation for fiancee’s father to see this baby he may not ever have a reltionship with from afar. Not to mention fiancee doesnt even have a lot of family, so it’s not like this is doing to be some big family reunion for them. We’ve been going back and forth about what to do, toying with the idea of just not inviting ANY children to the wedding, if that’s fair etc. Finally we decided that we just won’t be inviting children. It’s an evening wedding, my mother is concerned about crying babies while we are saying our vows, the music will be loud at the reception, not to mention the adults drinking lots of alcohol and the flashing uplighting. Clearly this is not an environment for infants. The only problem is our niece is the flower girl, so she will clearly be there. Anyone who would be able to babysit her anyway will be at the wedding, whereas the troublesome brother’s in-laws are close by and will be able to babysit. Does this sound fair to you? We’re expecting some resistance from the troublesome brother but we want to make sure we are justified in our reasoning about the family drama that could potentially unfold, a non-infant friendly environment, and our niece being in the wedding party. Honest opinions are appreciated!