Post # 1
So we actually have relatively little family drama (knock on wood). But there is one sticking point..
My aunt and uncle had a really messy divorce a few years ago. They have a college-age daughter. Uncle has since remarried (to the woman he basically left my aunt for). As far as my family is aware, they’re civil for their daughters’ sake but that’s about it.
Since the beginning I felt really strongly about including my aunt in the wedding festivities if she wanted to come. She was my aunt for my entire under-18 life. My plan is to just seat them far apart at the reception if they all choose to come, and give my aunt a plus one so she can bring someone if it makes her feel more comfortable.
I haven’t changed my mind, but I didn’t quite think through the other logistics. For example… all of the parties are from Out of Town, so should I invite them all to the rehearsal dinner? None? Should I go a step above and seat them in different rooms if we end up using our spillover room?
Anyone else have a similar problem? How did you address it?
Post # 3
@atalante: Are you inviting everyone who is Out of Town to the rehearsal dinner, or just the wedding party itself?
Post # 4
@creativeplannertobee: My plan was to do everyone Out of Town who comes in the night before. I kind of feel like that’s what a host should do, and it’s in our budget. But I’m thinking I might just limit the Rehearsal Dinner guest list to participants and a few members of my FI’s family that are staying with my Future Mother-In-Law if that’s what it takes. Because if I cut the remarried pair, I have to cut another aunt/uncle that they’re staying with, and if I cut my aunt, she’ll know I invited her daughter and exhusband..
Post # 5
If they can stay civil or their daughter, I think they can stay civil to put their differences aside them for your wedding. It is nice that you’re considering the sensitivity of the situation; I say invite them both to the rehearsal dinner or invite none. Are other aunts/uncles being invited to the rehearsal dinner? If so, then all are invited, if none, then you can get away without inviting anyone and keeping the dinner small.
Post # 6
@vickyness: I think that’s a good point.. that’s kind of where my mind was going when I was typing the last thing. I think we’ll just keep it small, and invite the people involved with the ceremony (and those staying with them from Out of Town, like the people staying with my Future Mother-In-Law, etc).
Post # 8
Man I feel your pain.. my grandma and grandpa recently went through i kind of messy divorce so there was the whole who are we gonna put where issue. I would say just ask her how she feels about it or have someone in the your family ask. That’s what we finally did with my grandma (she was actually my mom’s step mom so shes my third grandma). My mom asked her and she said she didn’t want to sit at a table with him but other than that she was fine with them being around. Since the wedding they’re on speaking terms again so now they can sit at the same table even.