- 7 years ago
Thanks to all of you for your support. Families just don’t realize how much they can ruin a wedding over their own silliness. Anyway there has been an update since I posted my original message. For those of you who haven’t seen my original post a month ago,here it is again:
My Wedding is in a few months and already there is drama about the guest list. My parents are not the ones causing the drama but its my Mom’s mother who is out of control trying to dictate my guest list. My fiance and I are paying for the wedding and the venue for the wedding/reception only holds 130 people. So that leaves my fiance and I to divide the guest list evenly among our families at 64 people a piece. We’ve each determined who’s coming to our wedding by wanting only our closest family members,friends, co-workers,church family and no kids except those of our nieces and nephews. And of course we have A,B & C list.
As soon as the Save The Dates were sent my grandmother was on the phone asking me who all was invited to my wedding. When I wouldn’t go into detail (Because it’s non of her business), I just politely advised her as to how my fiance and I determined our guest list. She asks me if I;m going to invite her friends; whom are a couple I havent seen in 15 years.I told her no and she got upset because she feels that they know the family they should be invited. Her friends don’t know a thing about me except for my name. Then she made a fuss over me not inviting her brother whom I’ve only seen about maybe 4 or 5 times in my lifetime. He also lives out of town. Further more my great uncle doesn’t know me from my other cousin whom is 12 years younger. So why would I invite him?
My grandmother went on to vent to other family members about my decisions to exclude more distant relatives all of whom I have barley seen over the years. Then I get calls from aunts and uncles asking me to make an exception and invite the people my grandmother want at my wedding. I told them all no. This is my day and I’m paying for it. My mother warned them all to back up off me about my guest list because she knew I was stressed out.
This past weekend over at my grandparents one of my aunts told me I should invite my grandparents friends to make my grandmother happy. I lost it. I said;
“You know what? There wont be no drama on my wedding because I’m not inviting any of my family. Because this is suppose to be a celebration about me and my fiance not about pleasing my grandmother. Because of this My guest list will only be my parents, my brother and his family, my church family,my friends and co-workers, I’m not inviting anyone because you all don’t want to respect me. All you can see is what you want and nobody has offered a dime to pay for the extra people that you all are trying to force on me. And besides that I told everybody the venue only hold but 130 people at about $50 a person for catering. But again all you can do is think about yourselves!” And with that I left.
I’ll be a little sad that my closest family members wont be there but now I’ll have less of a headache on my wedding day. My mother said I did the right thing but told me I should reconsider inviting both her and my dad’s families if they agree not to stress me about my guest list.As for my grandmother, she’s upset at me but you know what she had no right to try to dictate my wedding guest list and turn her other kids against me.
Was I cold in cutting off all family invites?
Well after I read some of your posts and some of my family members (Mainly my cousins) talked to their parents and made them see they were wrong for not correcting my grandmother and not supporting me. So I sent out invitations to my original guest choice. I didnt send any to those my grandmother wanted me to invite because its not her wedding. Anyway I hear from one of great aunts (my grandmother’s younger sister) that she talked to her brother about a couple of weeks after her initial rant about me not inviting him. And you know what he told her? “
” I wasn’t expecting your granddaughter to invite me anyway she don’t know me that well and I’ve only seen her a few times since she was little.”
I cracked up laughing when she told me that. So far almost everyone I sent them to has replied with a yes. I have yet to hear from my grandparents but I’m not going to worry about it. The invitation is there’s to turn down. So it the past week has been good and thank you all for your replies to my original post and I’ll keep you posted.