- 3 years ago
- Wedding: August 2017
My fiance and I were both raised strict Roman Catholic. Growing up we both are very influence to continue the religion. On my end, I started to drift from the Catholic faith after my first divorce. It was a very ugly divorce and as I and preparing for a wedding it’s becoming just as emotional. Rules have changed regarding the annulment to make the process faster and easier but they make you take forever questionnaire asking deep intimate questions about your life that I feel have no point in a annulment. Then I was recently told that we will be paired up with another couple that has been married for a long time to guide us and our marriage. I understand that they are trying to avoid another divorce and trying to help a marriage survive but I feel like that’s butting in too much.
I was told to make sure that decorations and things that I wanted for the ceremony you would be allowed at the church so I contacted the director. I was told to not only candles but the music that I would like for the ceremony was not allowed. That it would have to be performed either by the Oregon or to hire a performer to perform Catholic songs. Forgive me for saying it but it sounded like said funeral music to me hearing it on the organ. I told the funeral director that hearing the Oregon reminded me of my first wedding which was in the Catholic Church and it just brought back triggered memories. She laughed at me saying that the music wasn’t going to make my second marriage fail.
I talked with my bridesmaids and my friends and explain that I do not attend mass as often as I should I feel Catholic in my heart. I would like for us to be married in the church but I cannot put up with having my wedding as I had dreamed of. My first wedding was a disaster and felt forced and empty and it was beginning to feel the same way with this one if I continued in the Catholic Church.
So now to face our families. His family was surprisingly very understanding as they are more devout than mine. My mother says it’s not right and continues to give me grief over it. It already was hard enough to decide to have an on-site ceremony and not Catholic. I’m being told that I’m focusing so much on things that are not important.
I told her I heard that we could be able to get married in the church after going through a process. I don’t care if it’s just the three of us the priest my fiance and I.
I know the easiest response very wanted to say that it’s my wedding it’s my way but I feel like I’m doing something wrong in disappointing everyone. Why does have to be this difficult?
The other reason is because we both married so after I get my annulment he would have to begin his though he was just married in civil law.