(Closed) Family Drama: Second thoughts on a guest

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I agree, family drama is the absolute worse part of wedding planning.  If it will save you stress and worry over what her behavior might be, then don’t invite her.  She was not there for a large portion of your life, she should not be able to guilt you into inviting her.  However, if you feel like later in life you might really regret her not being there, then invite her and have a talk with her about how you are feeling.  

Post # 3
Member
1833 posts
Buzzing bee

I will say to future brides – try to mail your invitations at one time so you don’t get a lot of calls or questions about why so and so didn’t get an invitation.

Post # 4
Member
6638 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If you are willing and able to call her and tell her she’s not invited then you should be willing and able to call her and tell her your concerns about inviting her and that she can and will be removed from your wedding if there are any issues due to her behavior or drinking.

My perspective is, it’s not an issue you created so as a grandchild, you have a certain freedom to speak honestly. And I say this as someone with a grandparent who is the ultimate in difficulty- she competes with her kids, is aggressively loving but also very controlling and tends to create public scenes if she feels she’s not being properly respected. She and I have already had a conversation about her behavior and she knows I’ll have her removed if she cannot control herself at our wedding.

Having that conversation made me feel comfortable issuing the invite. Just ask for what you want and need from her. If she’s really trying to get back in and be a grandmother, she’s going to he happy to know what will help her be able to do that for your wedding.

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