(Closed) Family drama – To invite, or not to invite

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I invite them?
    Yes - they are family : (2 votes)
    10 %
    No - if there are others you are closer to invite them instead : (18 votes)
    90 %
  • Post # 3
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Whom do you really want at your wedding?  The friends or the cousins?  With a guestlist that small you can make that cut but make sure it’s across the board (i.e. no cousins for you or your FH period.)  That way if anybody asks you can honestly say, “we decided not to invite any of the cousins because the venue can only hold so many people and unfortunately that is where we had to cut the list to make our numbers.”

    Post # 4
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    *Just make sure it doesn’t get out that you are actually doing this purposefully in retaliation because honestly that is exactly what it is going to look like.

    Post # 5
    1108 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I agree with PP, that if you don’t mind not inviting your other cousins, then don’t invite her.  I have a cousin who I didn’t want to invite to my wedding, but because I want to invite my other cousins, I will invite her as well. 

    Post # 7
    7403 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @Mrs-Sept-2013: This means my family have to decide whether to go to my sisters small blessing  or her babies christening.

    Hmm no, you go to your sister’s blessing. And you don’t have to invite if you keep the guest list consistant as outlined by other posters.


    Post # 9
    7403 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @Mrs-Sept-2013:  I totally misunderstood, I thought this was your FH cousin. Sorry, it’s your cousin. Your extended family will figure it out. As long as you are comfortable with what you doing that is what matters. If she is so self centered to bring it up about your immediate family attending your sisters blessing…sorry but F her.

    As for your wedding, doesn’t sound like you are that close. If its a budgetary concern, I say cut her and invite people that you really care about. However, only you know if this will cause tensions within your family. Maybe exclusing her will not be worth it in the long run.


    Post # 10
    872 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I feel like if you have friends or other family that you’d much rather have at your wedding because they mean more to you then I say invite them, and if there happens to be any room left over then invite this cousin in question, but even if you cannot invite her in the end is it going to be a huge deal? 

    I say weigh your choices. To me I’d much rather look back on my wedding day, and skim through my wedding photos and see people I’d be happy remembering that surrounded us with amazing memories and loving support. 

    Would other family, or even this cousin cause problems if she is not invited? It seems like she has a lot on her plate anyway, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you do not invite her? Would you be willing to accept any repracussions if she gets upset if you decide not to invite her? 

    For me and my Fiance we’ve already decided that some family members are not invited to the wedding, and we’re ready to accept any backlash of that choice and are at peace with it, so for us a decision like this is an acceptable one. One of the questions I’ve asked myself many, many times during the wedding planning process is “How many etiquette rules should I follow before me and my fiance’ are no longer running/planning our own wedding but instead having rules and people dictate our event?”

    Good luck~

    Post # 11
    49 posts
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I guess it depends on how close you are to your cousin and how important it is to have her there over your friends. You have a small list to work with so you’d have to choose by importance. There are some cousins of mine that I am inviting and some that, while I USED to be close to, not close enough and could not afford to invite them.

    Post # 12
    2635 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Mrs-Sept-2013:  I am inviting only SOME of my cousins to my wedding. it depends who you are close with…..you could just invite her and not her husband.

    Post # 13
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I have cousins here there and everywhere.  We’re inviting select ones because it is such a small affair.  Hopefully everyone will understand.

    The topic ‘Family drama – To invite, or not to invite’ is closed to new replies.

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