- 5 years ago
So my husband’s family sometimes has some drama, which I’m not really used to and don’t really know how to respond to. I usually just try to stay out of it. But this time I need to say something, but not sure what/how.
The information you’ll need : My husband has one sister, my SIL. They get along well enough. She and I get along really well – she is probably my best friend. SIL lives with her mom. They have a bit if a rocky relationship, I think because they live together. They’re close and love each other but bicker a lot. My husband and his mom are SUPER close and he is kind of her ‘favorite child’. My SIL is aware of this and clearly hurt by it. But I just try to stay out of that. Finally, my husband is kind of between University & working right now. He’s done with all of his classes but has to do a final thesis before graduating which is VERY expensive. Where we live people don’t really work / find jobs before actually graduating, so he’s just kind of in-between while we save up for his thesis. I work two jobs from home and he helps me a LOT. He helps with work tasks, errands, cooking, cleaning, etc. I love it and we’re actually pretty happy in this in-between time. I’ve never complained about or resented our situation.
So here’s the story. The SIL came to visit us last week. She stayed a week in our tiny apartment and we had a great time. My husband and I tried to take her places that she’d enjoy – shopping, out to eat, to the movies, out with our friends, etc. We both cooked for her and both dedicated all of our time to her, sometimes working until late at night to make up for it. She always naps during the day and we let her do that, keeping really quiet until she woke up. We did everything she had hoped to do and it seemed like we all had a good time. When she left she thanked us for everything and even got teary to be leaving.
Today my husband’s mom called and said that SIL had told her that my husband just lays around all day doing nothing.
This really pisses me off. We bent over backwards to accomodate her. Neither my husband nor I ever sleep during the day, but we accomodated her doing so. He does sometimes sleep in because he struggles with insomnia and stays up super late. This doesn’t bother me at all and isn’t a problem between us. He didn’t even really sleep in much when she was here because we were almost constantly taking her places, cooking, etc. I’m sure the root of this is jealousy that my husband is the ‘favorite child’.
I may have just ignored this, but after my husband told me, he cried. I’ve only seen him cry a handful of times. I think it just really hurt him. Especially since he did so much for his sister while she was here.
So I want to say something to her, but I’m not sure what? She and I text everyday, so I can send her a text message about it. I’m not confrontational and I don’t want to argue or cause a bigger problem. I want to say SOMETHING, though. I can’t handle seeing my husband cry!! 🙁 Any advice?