(Closed) Family drama- What would you do?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@ams12: Just cash the check, put it into a savings account for your baby and don’t contact her again. She’s clearly destructive and out of her mind so don’t bother calling her again. I would go as far as changing my number so she cant continue to stress you guys out. 

Post # 4
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Wow. What a rough situation she’s put you guys in! If it were me, I’d just return the check, or at least just tear it up and not cash it. It’s not worth the $100. I’d feel like I was somehow saying everything was okay if I kept the money, and really – everything is NOT okay.

And omg… I can’t believe she told you that inviting family members was HER gift to you! Crazy. 

Post # 5
2889 posts
Sugar bee

To be completely honest, I don’t think you sould worry about the money at this point. It soundsl ike your parents covered it and were okay with that. Cash the check or don’t cash the check but DO NOT ask her for the rest of it or rehash the day any further. At a certain point, you just need to put it behind you and move on and a new baby seems to be the perfect time to focus on the positive. You will need to deal with her and decide what kind of relationship to have with her going forward, especially for your DH and future child. IMO, you and DH should sit down with his mom and state that you want to move on from the wedding. Yes, it still is a sore issue but it’s been over a year and you can’t undo any of her actions. As well, I think the aunt and uncle sound like they are more to blame for the Rehearsal Dinner than anything. Of course I may not know the whole story but they personally told you no and then showed up with children they knew were not invited as well as children’s friends which is totally inappropriate.

Post # 6
2152 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh mmy goodness, that woman sounds crazy.  I would say that if you can do without the money, send it back.  If you cash it she may take that as a reason to put her say into the baby since she contributed money,

Post # 7
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

That is soooo crazy!!!  I would send the check back, the lady is obviously crazy and $100 isn’t worth it.  She seems the type that would bring it up anytime she could (that she “helped” pay).  What I don’t get is how your DH’s Uncle and Aunt thought it was okay the way they went about the whole thing.  I agree with PP, change your number, you don’t want that kind of stress.  Good luck 🙂  

Post # 8
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through with your Mother-In-Law, it sounds like hell! But, it’s so great to see you and your husband going through this together as a team 🙂 Congrats on your pregnancy!

I would just cash the check and save it for the baby.. I mean, a hundred dollars is a hundred dollars and it doesn’t have to mean that everything’s alright. In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if she never got the point of the whole Rehearsal Dinner drama, this was not an isolated incident. She behaved poorly before, and I doubt that she will be better in the future. That’s not an influence I’d like to have at this point or any, to be honest. 

I also agree with 

View original reply
@MsNarwhal:, I would totally change my number. 

Post # 9
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, for starters I think you should run the eff away from his family. They sound awful. As for the check, I wouldn’t cash it. Show her that she needs the $100 more than you do. Maybe it can buy her some class.

Post # 10
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would tear that check up! Its not worth it holding the fact that she gave you that money, over your heads for the rest of your lives. Change your number, and refuse to have any contact with her.

Post # 12
5842 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’d just rip it up, if you send it back with a note it’s just an invitation for her to call and be crazy some more.

Post # 13
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you do choose to send it back I wouldn’t include a note. The check alone will make enough of a statement.

If it were me, I would just rip it up. If she’s as broke as she says she is, not knowing when the check will be cashed will probably drive her crazy. From the sounds of it, she deserved to be manipulated a bit. 

Post # 14
7 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

& I thought I would have drama..whooooooooo! I think what I would do is not cash the check, just tear it up and trash it , because it’ll just make her feel like she’s the bigger person if you cash it and keep the money.

& even though she basically ruined her sons wedding, she is still his mother and will always be his mother I dont think its okay to just avoid her, you have to resolve this problem. You, your husband and her should talk things through , because at the end of the day she will be another person that will be there for your baby , another person to love him/her and spoil him / her 🙂

Post # 15
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I wouldn’t cash it. People like her will never be satisfied. They love stirring up drama, even when it appears they are trying to make some kind of ass backwards amends. 

Post # 16
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Rip up the check. Mail it back to her. Have the phone compnies block her numbers.

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