(Closed) Family drama with reception seating chart

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
2945 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It sounds like you are giving an inch, and your mother is taking a mile. I would stop giving the inch. From this point forward, unless she is contribuing financially, the answer is “I have it handled,” and leave it at that.

Post # 3
4940 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


Ferndel1981:   I totally agree with the above poster – stop giving inches.  I have similar issues with my mom, and the only thing that works is presenting everything as a done deal.  

Post # 4
46672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would tell her that there is a vast difference between”some input” and “airtight”.

Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Sounds like her divorce was pretty bad, but it was a long time ago.  Maybe you could tell her while you understand her feelings, that this is a one time deal, you’re not asking them to hold hands and sing happy songs together, it’s a few hours of her life.  It must hurt her but you’ve been very thoughtful in your actions.  You should let her know you reworked the seating chart, she might appreciate knowing you are doing what you can. 

Post # 6
1634 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

OP, I understand even with time- lots of time- divorced parents can still be really angry. My dad declined my wedding invite because he didn’t want to be around my mom. They had been divorced for 8 years at that point. 

I would enlist your sibs and family as buffers. I ddon’t think its unreasonable to reserve specific seats at the ceremony. The closest seats to the aisle on the first two rows could be saved just for your parents. Other guests likely to take the remain I ngbseats on those rows would be your family anyway.

As long as you don’t seat your parents at the same table for the reception I don’t see what other request your mom needs to make. You know her fav fam and friends to round out her table.

I am curious why doesn’t your sister want to sit with her rather than your dad?

Post # 7
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do you have an exact number of people where every table has to have 10? If you have the extra space, just let those two tables have 8.

Post # 8
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ferndel1981:  Honestly I didnt let anyone have any input in mine because its just too much to handle.

If theres 2 extra seats at each table is it possible to fit 2 from the friends table at your moms? then you have 4 seats open for say 2 couples who know eachother at the other one?I know what you mean sometimes its hard to find a “single couple” who wouldnt want at least someone they know to sit with.

Im not sure if you know these people personally but in the end just assign a couple from the second table you think would get along with the ones at your moms….. just do it and on the day of your wedding its not like everyone is going to walk in and your mom is going to say “omg what are YOU doing at my table?”….(since she invited tham all) she’ll be so busy she wont even care! and niether will anyone else…. TRUST ME

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 6 months ago by  shanbp.

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