- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
I thought our wedding would be without any family drama, but now it doesn’t look like that will happen. I’d love some advice on this situation, especially if you’ve been through something like this before!
Basically, my aunt has been causing a lot of drama with my grandparents. To be honest, I’m not even exactly sure of what’s gone on, although there’s a long history of mental illness and long running arguments that go on for years. My grandparents – who are wonderful, and whom I love dearly – have said that they will not attend my wedding if my aunt goes. I think that this is more to protect me from having to deal with any potential arguments, although it sounds like my aunt has really burned her bridges with them. This was all fine, and I was happy with this because my aunt was living on the other side of the world anyway (which meant I could avoid any awkwardness, and just say I hadn’t invited her because she was so far away if it came down to it). However, she’s now moved back and is living only a few hours away.
While of course I love my aunt, and personally I have nothing against her, I don’t really want her to come because of the huge potential for an awkward situation at the wedding. She’s very vocal and confrontational, and I’m convinced that there would be a huge blow up if everyone was to be in the same room together (especially with alcohol involved!). However, it just feels awkward to not invite her. For one thing, I want my cousin (her son) to come, as well as my uncle (her brother) – so she’d definitely find out she wasn’t invited.
I think I’ll have to actually talk to her and explain why she won’t be invited. I haven’t spoken to her in years (we have a fairly large and spread out family, so that isn’t very unusual) and I’m quite nervous about bringing it up. Also, I don’t even really know what the whole argument is really about – my mother has stayed well out of it, although I think from what she’s heard, she’s on my grandparents’ side. I’m worried I’ll end up being stuck in the middle of a family dispute that I have no interest in. This is compounded by the fact that I’m the type of person who would prefer everyone to be happy and nice to each other – confrontation makes me extremely stressed, and that’s the last thing I need on my wedding day!
What would you do? Should I just not invite her and not say anything? Am I putting myself in the middle of family dispute I don’t understand? And am I putting my cousin and uncle in an awkward position by inviting them, without explaining why she’s not invited? Sorry for the long post!