(Closed) Family Dramaz + my dad = awesome?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’d be angry if my dad spoke for me like that. Do you think your dad knows how hurtful he is being to you? What do you think would happen if you sent the invitation with the note as you had intended? Could you call them up and explain you have no hard feelings towards them? I’m not sure of the best way to approach the situation, but maybe it will help to remember that at the end of the day, you are the bigger person and you and Fiance are married, even if there are a few people caught up in childish drama. If the relatives show up and you’re gracious and kind to them, which you clearly are, they will realize you had no part in this.

Post # 5
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Your father had no right to do what he did, so include your note.

This is your occasion, not his.  He had no right to make your wedding the focus of a ongoing family feud – even if he is paying for it.  It is completely disrespectful to both you and your Fiance.  If I was your Fiance, I’d be livid  with your father.

You are getting married, you are an adult.  The days when a parent can dictate to you and make decisions for you should be long over.

Post # 6
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I would include the note, but with an appendage saying “even if you hear differently, the door is always open and my feelings aren’t hurt, blah blah blah.” That way whomever this note is going to will know your dad is full of it, and making a power play. 

FYI, you are NOT being selfish whatsoever. Your father is the one being an ass, because he’s making your wedding about HIM and his problems with whomever. Not cool.

Post # 7
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Baal:  I would have a firm chat with your Dad and tell him he seriously overstepped his boundaries.  Your wedding is about you and your fiance.  You really need to communicate this with him – It’s your day and you are celebrating this union.  It is not appropriate for your wedding to be the catalyst for fixing a family beef (or making it worse which WILL ultimately happen). 

Frankly, it sounds like he is manipulating this situation to exacerbate the issue, not fix it.  And I’d have no qualms telling him that either.  You are an adult and you can speak to your father as such.  End the conversation with “I expect you will call this family member back and retract what you said.”

Post # 8
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@JemmaWRX:  And definitely include the note.

Post # 9
Member
4324 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@JemmaWRX:  Agree times infinity.

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