(Closed) Family Expects Something more than appetizers

posted 8 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Who will be paying for the reception? Are you wanting to do appetizers to save money, or just because? If your mom is paying for the reception and wants to do it, and neither you nor your [future] fiance are that set on one or the other, why not have dinner!

If it’s not a money issue but you feel like an appetizer-only reception suits you better, then like your SO said, it is YOUR day.

I guess what I’m saying is.. if you don’t have much of a preference and your parents are footing the bill, might as well make everyone happy! But if you DO have a strong preference, it’s your day and your family will accept that.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

My feelings on apps only is that it all depends on the timing of the wedding.  If you have an afternoon wedding, or you don’t start until 8pm, then only apps is totally fine.  But if people are going to be at your wedding at dinner time, it’s not unreasonable for them to expect to be fed dinner.

Post # 6
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@ravenwait: If you’re not engaged yet, then I would wait and not mention it to her until you are actively planning.  There is good reasoning behind some traditions like full dinners, because people have come from far away or your wedding is their only activity that evening.  If you have an idea book and start collecting ideas, when you’re ready to plan, you can tackle the bigger decisions from all angles.

Post # 7
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m assuming it will be catered, so before you get your heart set on doing it that way, I’d start by gettting some prices for your options. The hor d’ouerves reception we had was more expensive than both the sit down or buffet option from the caterer we used.

We also had a carving station, seafood buffet, mashed potato bar and a pasta station, so in my opinion, we would have been better off having it as a buffet,(which it essentially was anyway)and saving the added expense per head.

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would make sure she understands exactly what you are talking about. She is likely thinking you will have just a few morsels of food and some cheese platter.

You can incorporate small plate stations that will be open for a long period of time, the only difference between that and a buffet is that there wont be a designated dinner time (and their tables won’t need to be called up)

Let her know that there will be more than enough food to take the place of a full dinner, and more variety than a traditional dinner.

Post # 11
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can see the $$ savings for apps only, but I can also understand where your Mom is coming from. 

Think of it this way:  Your cousin is getting married several towns away.  You’ve got to take time off work, book a hotel, drive a few hours, bring a nice gift, and you arrive at the reception to apps only. 

Would she be good with food stations?  It would still be apps style, but you’d be able to get lots of food and people can still easily mingle?  And it would be cheaper than a plated dinner.

Post # 14
Member
3519 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m getting married at 1pm and my catered reception is a BBQ.  ๐Ÿ™‚  I can’t even tell you how many of our European guests are excited by the prospect of the “American food.”

Post # 15
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well at least now you have a little more input about how an appetizer reception would be perceived vs. an actual sit down dinner. I think your Mom makes good points and that is why Darling Husband adn I didn’t even consider it. Maybe if we had a primarily younger crowd or a much smaller gathering the appetizers would have made sense. But there would have been a ton of pissed off wedding guests had we not actually served dinner!

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