- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Okay Bees so I have 2 main concerns her that I’ve been agonizing over ever since I got engaged.
1. Where to Have the Wedding
Even before we got engaged I envisioned ourselves getting married on his grandparent’s family farm with an outdoor wedding in their apple orchard, a place where we have a lot of memories. I find the idea of getting married at a place of sentimental value to both of you as something very special.
Unfortunately our idea was shot down by my family. They think that the location is too far away from where my family lives (about a 3 hour drive) and are worried that not many people will come. They also do not want to have to drive and get hotels.
Our families also pointed out the fact that there’s only a couple bathrooms in the farmhouse and are worried about the guests needing to go to the bathroom and parking their cars. There’s 7 acres of land around the house so I feel like that shouldn’t be too much of an issue. My FMIL is more worried about getting the house cleaned up and ready for company and of course what to do if there’s bad weather. There’s a church down the road that I would consider using as a bad weather back up.
With these concerns, I gave in and looked at venues up near the city where I’m from. All the places looked nice but they just didn’t seem “right”. I felt like I was giving in just because my mom liked them and since she insisted on paying for part of the wedding (even though I asked her not to spend so much on it) I feel like she should have say. She did tell me that I can pick whatever venue I want (in our budget) as she really wants to have a nice wedding.
Of course, after FI and I crunched some numbers, the cheapest option would be to do the farm with a local banquet hall for the reception. I’m just worried about my family not being happy with this idea as they are offering to pay for part of it. I want to make them happy too. I just feel like this way it would help us all save some money.
I just keep getting an agonizing feeling about where to have it. Even though the other wedding venues are beautiful deep down I am still sad that it can’t be at the farm. Has anyone else experienced this? If so what did you do?
2. When to Have the Wedding
Originally we both wanted to get married within at least 1 year after our engagement (July 2013), but because I am a full time student in a very rigourous doctorate program I don’t have much time to plan a wedding. So far all I’ve done was shop for venues (I visited 10 of them), done some research, created a rough draft guest list, brainstormed decorations, and bought a wedding dress. Now that school has started I have a little less time but my mom and fiance want to help which helps a lot.
The other limiting factor for my wedding is the timing of it. Because I am in school, the only time that I can/have time to get married is late June through mid-August. Almost all of the places I looked at are booked up completely for summer of 2014, thus making us push our date back to 2015. The only place I found with openings in 2014 was the banquet hall down by the family farm.
The more I think about it though FI and I feel like it’s silly to push back your marriage for another whole year just to plan/have a date for a fancy party. Making us want to have it in 2014. In addition it would be nice if our elderly grandparents could see us wed, his grandpa is really sick.
Sorry for the long post,
But to Summarize
1. is planning a backyard wedding in 9 months not enough time? Should we stick with 2015 and have a fancier all-inclusive venue?
2. Our farm wedding would be a backyard wedding, does anyone have experience with these and did you think they were too much stress/work? The ceremony will be backyard but the reception will be done at a banquet hall.
Thanks so much!