(Closed) Family Feud 2 months out from the wedding…HELP!

• guess26grl
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: November 2011

Hi Bees,

I’m coming to you all for a piece of advice.  My family has been having a lot of issues in the past year mainly between my mom and dad.  I know neither of them are perfect, but I tend to lean more toward my mom’s side.  My dad has been a wonderful active dad in my life but he has this scary other side to him where he thinks he has the right to tell anyone whatever he wants and that because i’m his daughter that he has the right to tell me anything and if i don’t agree then i’m being disrespectful.  Anyway, as a kid obviously i obeyed my parents but as an adult, I have my own opinions and my own taste and I don’t agree with a lot of what they ask, and since I live on my own then I make my own decisions.

Well this weekend we had our food tasting at our venue and we invited both of our sets of parents and it was really a lovely night.  My parents are footing most of the bill for the wedding but i didn’t want to leave my future in laws out so I tried to ask everyone to pick a plate for the cocktail hour that they would like to have and everyone’s opinion.

After leaving, my fiance and I jumped in the car with my parents to drive home and my dad started talking about what was going to go on the day before our wedding which happens to be Thanksgiving.  He flipped on my mom for a whole bunch of nonsense and then he turned to me and said “And i’m paying for this wedding and I have the right…” That is where my fiance finally jumped in and came to my defense and said that we didn’t need their money and that would take every right away from him and that he doesn’t have the right to talk to me like that because i am his future wife and that he will not stand for it.  My fiance is a military guy who has been on his own since he was 18 and he doesn’t like to be told how to live his life by anyone.  Everything he said, I support and I’m glad that he stood up for me but now this obviously leaves us in a very sticky situation.  I’m still really mad at my dad but at the end of the day, he’s still my dad and I love him.  I want to put this behind us but I want him to truly understand what he did and how we are not going to stand for his behavior.  I also don’t want to be stuck between my dad and my fiance because if it ever effects my relationship with my fiance, then i may have to pull away from my dad. 

I plan on calling him tonight to talk about it and I hope that he doesn’t get out of hand so any advice would be much appreciated!!

• guess26grl
• 7 years ago

• Wedding: November 2011

Thanks for all the opinions…no offense taken by anything.  Don’t get me wrong, my dad is a wonderful dad, he has just gotten more difficult as we have gotten older.  He thinks that it’s his way or no way and that’s just not realistic.  My fiance and dad saw eachother after my bridal shower and they exchanged a handshake and hug and I have had a couple of good days with my dad since then so we are just taking it one day at a time.  Next weekend I am taking him with me to see the florist but we are currently still paying for the wedding ourselves.  I’m not going to go around broadcasting that to my dad and guests though so they call all just think what they want to think.  Hopefully this whole experience has just taught everyone a little something.  My dad has to know his boundaries, I need to learn how to be a little more patient with him, and my fiance has to respect our relationship overall.  I still wouldn’t change a thing of how it went down…maybe it was what we all needed.