- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
I have a huge extended family. I have more than 25 first cousins and 9 aunts and uncles, and almost all of them have spouses and many of the cousins have children. When you do the math, that’s about 70 people. I don’t feel very close to any of them, but when we got engaged, all of the aunts and uncles and a few cousins verbally told me they would come to the wedding, even though it is where my fiance and I live, which is a two-hour plane ride away.
We can only afford a 100-person weddding, so when I created my guest list, I was very, very careful about who I invited, assuming at least 20-30 members of my extended family would come. Well, the RSVPs are coming in and they all flaked out except 1 aunt with lame excuses like, our in-laws are having a party that day or our grandchild was born 3 months ago and we can’t stand to leave her for a day.
Honestly, I’m relieved they aren’t coming because if they don’t want to be there, I don’t want them there, but now I have this huge hole in my guest list. We only have 34 confirmed people. Granted a bunch of friends and people from his side haven’t RSVP’ed either way (the deadline is June 1), but even if every single one said yes, and they won’t, we’d only have 91 people.
This is a dilemma because there were a bunch of friends and co-workers we didn’t invite to make room for these people. Now I have to get extra invites printed and feel like a jerk sending them out to B-listers. I can’t afford nice calligraphy like I did for the first set, so the new invites are getting ugly labels on their envelopes. And they’ll have a shorter time to RSVP.
Sorry for the long rant, but here are my questions: We are on the hook with the caterer to pay for 100 people no matter what. I’ve already sent out about 6 additional invites. Should I keep going until I get close to 100 accepted RSVP’s or should I cut my losses and have a tiny wedding? Also will the people on the B-list be offended they are on the B-list? I’m afraid they will figure it out because they didn’t receive a Save the Date and their invite is sooo late. Finally, am I right to be angry? I know none of these people ever sent back a written RSVP, but to tell me you are coming and then flake later? Especially since at least one member of my immediate family has been to all of their stupid events. Plus my father passed away when I was very young and not even one person from his family is bothering to show up. I understand why not all of them can come, but it’s hurtful to me that they didn’t one person to represent that side.
Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.