(Closed) Family Flake Out

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
624 posts
Busy bee

You can only afford 100 people so I would look at the bright side of this, you didn’t go over and you are not scrambling at the last minute.  We planned for 100 people as well and maybe had 50-60 people come. 

I am no help on the B-List.  We verbally invited people a few weeks before the wedding; we had no more correct invites and we kind of thru formality out the window the closer it got.  What about having the wedding party bring their family? 

Post # 4
624 posts
Busy bee

Also, after the wedding I was so frustrated because all I kept thinking was that we could have had such a kick ass venue if we knew half our people would end up coming rather than a bigger crappier place to fit everyone who was coming.  HOWEVER.  There isn’t anything you can do about this now!  Kick that thought right out the window and focus on what you have and the fact that you’ll be married.

Post # 5
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My opinion is that the people that are on the “b-list” are people you’d actually want there more than family, right? Friends, coworkers – these are the kinds of people you can be more frank with. maybe if you approach the b-list more like an OMG I’m so RELIEVED! list, it’ll be better received. If a casual friend that I enjoyed spending time with couldn’t invite me to her small wedding b/c she had to invite family, i’d understand if i was on a second list and probably be excited to hear they flaked. I don’t know if I’d be offended. Now, if it were a gift-grabby kind of b-list, that’s another story. Good luck! I think it’ll be better received than you think.

Post # 6
1408 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is tough.

First- the people who didn’t get Save-The-Date Cards probably won’t know that unless they are very close to people who did. So, no offense. And if they do know about the Save-The-Date Cards and say something, just say that you under ordered so you sent them to people furthest from the wedding (other countries, states, etc.).

Second- if you are on the hook to pay for 100 people, no matter if 1 or 100 come, I’d keep inviting people until you are at or very near 100! Especially if they are people you want there, but didn’t invite the first round because of money issues. If people are rude enough to say anything about it, just politly explain that you ran out of invitations and the time difference between the first set and the second (even if you sen dout 3+ sets!) was the time it took to reorder, receive new ones, and send them out. hopefully they’ll understand and not hold it against you.

third- i totally get the flaky relatives thing! My dad’s side is all “we’ll totally be there!” verbally, but I suspect that when the RSVPs start rolling in, their cards will almost universally say No. Historically speaking, my dad’s family doesn’t like to attend things outside of funerals (werid, i know!). I am sorry your family is refusing to celebrate this joyous occassion with you, but be happy that those who really care will be there for you! 🙂 You’ll have an amazing day no matter what- 1 or 100 guests.

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