(Closed) Family full of “Brides”

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

What was your original thought process behind eloping? Can you talk to Fiance and explain it to him again and tell him that your family has made serious financial commitments to come? Will he be reasonable at all? Sheesh, his family sounds so awful! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It is very (very) telling that he completely caved to their demands. I’m not saying that no one should be considerate of their family in the wedding planning.

BUT

That’s one of the requirements of getting married; cleaving from your original “immediate” family to create a new one with your spouse (and possible future children). If Fiance cannot stand up and say that “this is what WE agreed upon” then I’d be a wee bit concerned that his mother, sister, and aunt will be an integral part of your marriage for years to come.

Good luck

Post # 5
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dont mean to knock your man but he is sounding completely selfish. To not even consider how this affects you or your family is just blatantly inconsiderate…I really don’t know what to say other than this.

Ms.Charisma is right: He should value your opinion over anyone elses, ESPECIALLY when it comes to the wedding

Post # 6
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@06anchored08: The pastor nailed it dead on.  Sit down with him and tell him EVERYTHING.  How you feel, how he’s allowing his family to dictate his life (which they ARE doing), how it’s being disrespectful to you and also YOUR family. 

Don’t mince words and don’t worry about showing your feelings.  If you yell, argue, cry, and everything in between, well… that’s part of being human and being married.  (I’ve YET to hear of a couple that has NEVER argued or yelled at each other, lol…. just to refrain from throwing objects at each other Wink).

I HAVE been in your position before and, well, we argued AT LENGTH about it.  He would pretty much ditch everything WE had planned for his parents and family.  Needless to say, after the second time, I was pretty angry and hurt by it.

After a lot of yelling, crying, and pointing out facts, he finally admitted what he was doing was wrong and promised to stop.  (we call each other on EVERYTHING, which was our agreement from the very start since we’ve both had really horrible previous marriages…)

If you don’t address this now, the family will take this and RUN with it. 

Give an inch, take a mile.  I’m sure you’ve heard of that and I’ve seen it happen in couples and families.  (especially with children…)

Talk to your Fiance at length.  Even if it takes ALL WEEK, talk to him.  Try to get him to understand what’s going on.  Suggest a marriage counselor and go to them and talk to THEM about what’s going on. 

I am so sooo sorry you’ve got to deal with this.  I completely sympathize and empathize and hope you two can work this out soon and wsmoothly. 

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