- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
Alright, so I’m not looking for pity or anything. I just needed somewhere to vent about everything that’s been going on in my family lately.
My dad’s mom passed away in November (day after Thanksgiving) and it was very upsetting, but not unexpected as she had been fighting lung cancer for about 9 months or so. Mostly I felt guilty for not helping out more seeing as I live in the same town as she was staying in. Then again most of his family lives up here anyway. Fiance was supportive as he could be during this time. He’s ok at it, but I hide my feelings pretty well, so it was hard for him to realize how upset I was. I found out the day of the funeral that my mom’s mom was diagnosed terminal with cancer (she’s been fighting it for several years). Then after the funeral my older sister was talking to one of our cousins and made a horrible comment IMO. Cousin had just gotten engaged on Thanksgiving and Fiance & I had been engaged since Dec ’08 and still hadn’t picked a date as we were just enjoying the betrothment. So sister basically says that our relationship must not be real/serious because we hadn’t picked a date. It really bothered me and it made me not want to talk to her for quite awhile.
In mid-December-ish I went to a hockey game with my parents (they had extra tix) and while we were there my dad let me know that he and my mom were fighting and she was sleeping in the guest room. He had been sexting a woman on the east coast and told her after the one time it happened and she “forgave” him. Except that with my mom it’s not as simple as that and by the time the night before the funeral came around (and a little before that I’m fairly sure) she was dating a guy she knew through her work. My dad knew for sure by then and it really bothered him. Several times over the next month or two he would tell me that they were fighting then they’d be what he thought was 90% back together and it was just really hard on him. They went to counceling a few times and as a result she took some time off and went on a “vacation” to decide what to do with her life.
A few days after that started my mom’s mom went into the hospital due to extreme pelvic/back pain that the home epidural wasn’t helping anymore. They knew that the cancer had spread to there and that it was pretty bad. My mom was staying the night most nights and waiting up with her so my gpa could get some sleep at home. When they first went to the hospital my mom didn’t let my dad know or even check in on the second day and it made him mad enough that he told her to not even bother coming home. Fiance and I visited that Friday for part of the day to see her and to see my family because I hadn’t seem them for quite some time. They seemed okay and everything while we were there and I made sure to take the time to invite my dad’s dad to the wedding (he doesn’t like to go normally, but I wanted to let him know that I really wanted him there). We headed home and I proceeded to get sick with a bad cold. On Tuesday my dad called and let me know that she had passed away.
So we prepared to go to the funeral about 2 weeks later, because they needed time to get everything set up. In the meantime my dad let me know that my mom would be moving out after the funeral. She got her own apartment and my dad bought her a car (even though he didn’t want to because he found out they were behind on bills). So she moved out and the funeral happened about a week and a half ago.
This last Friday night I saw my dad and little sister and hung out with them for awhile where he let me know that they would be filing for divorce this week, have a 30 day cool-off period, then the judge would sign it. He said that she has begun drinking heavily and fighting with him everytime she gets drunk. It’s bad enough that now if she tried to quit she would go into several withdrawals ie: convulsions. This bothers me more than it would otherwise because she has degenerative kidney disease and at the last appointment she only had like 30% function, so she is literally drinking herself to death. She spent more than $150 on almost exclusively alcohol (except for about $20 to go to the movies with my sister and about $30 in groceries).
So anyway, my family is pretty much falling apart and it honestly makes me really happy to have a new family to turn to instead. Oh, and my older sister goes into a funk rather often and gets mad at my dad over stupid stuff (like him telling her she had to show up for part of the funeral rather than skipping the whole thing because she thought it was on Sunday instead of Saturday). Thus, she doesn’t talk to anyone in the family including me when I was just trying to find out if she wants to be a reader at the wedding and she didn’t respond to me for like two weeks.
On top of all this my close cousin is getting divorced from his wife and it’s for some really dumb reasons that he honestly doesn’t deserve. So anyway, there’s a lot of crud going on right now that I’m having a hard time dealing with…