(Closed) Family heirloom used as engagement ring

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 78
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

papayagelato :  Dude, no conclusions were jumped to. You asked for something, asked if it was rude, I said yes, as did others. I know nothing about you as a person. You spoke in hyperbole and I read those things literally. You know nothing about my outlook. There’s nothing else there. Seriously, have a wonderful week.

Post # 79
Member
1170 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would stay away from leather unless you’d be ok with removing it every time you wash your hands.  You could consider using the gold from your parents’ rings mixed to lower the gold content and make it hard enough for daily wear and make something custom. 

Darling Husband and I were married with my Mom’s band from my dad, and even though they divorced I don’t consider it bad luck.  Their marriage produced me, and they were happy for most of it.

Post # 80
Member
18 posts
Newbee

mishybear :  Just wanted to chime in to say that I received an heirloom ring as a child from my grandma. It was her mother’s (very modest) engagement ring, reset with my birthstone. I got it as a confirmation gift when I was 13. I was (outwardly) a really responsible kid– good grades, lots of extra-curriculuars, etc., but frankly was just a little careless, and ultimately I lost it. To this day I feel so guilty about it! I share only to say hold out for longer than you’d think before you gift away your treasured things– your future grandkids will thank you!

Post # 81
Member
1536 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

papayagelato :  “Nor did I say, ‘it is either an heirloom ring or no ring’.” (emphasis added)

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/family-heirloom-used-as-engagement-ring/#ixzz4FRpkGMCM

papayagelato :  “NO,  I want no ring, or a heirloom ring.  I want him to spent $0. I am against consumerism, does that make sense?  A ring is unimportant to me but how I person spend $ is.  I would not married a person who wants to spend unnessary money, is what I am saying.” (emphasis added).

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/family-heirloom-used-as-engagement-ring/#ixzz4FRosV2zO

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????

Again I actually disagree with Fitzy : on the issue itself, but I am not seeing where she was “making assumptions”.

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papayagelato : “The reason you made the assumption, to me, it has to do with having traditional female roles, to me is a feminist agrument.”

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/family-heirloom-used-as-engagement-ring/#ixzz4FRrNCLCS

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Now THAT is making assumptions.

Post # 84
Member
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

papayagelato :  Let me word this is a way that appears more palletable.  You don’t want an engagement ring.  Your SO insists that you have one.  He asks what you’d like, and you tell him you don’t like rings and the only ring you’d feel a desire to wear would be one with emotional signifciance, such as an heirloom.  I don’t see anything wrong with this.  Now if you knew your SO’s family was sitting on some big honking diamond that you had your greedly little eye on, that would be a pretty shitty thing to do, but that’s clearly not what you’re doing here.

That said, I’d be careful here.  If you tell your SO that you’d be happy with any family ring, then when he gives you a giant monstrosity of a ring that you can’t stand wearing you’re kind of stuck.  You don’t sound like the flashy ring sort of girl, so not knowing what sort of jewelry your SO’s family may be sitting on, you could be putting yourself in an awkward situation.

ETA: Just saw your update, happy to hear it worked out so well!

Post # 87
Member
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

papayagelato :  To answer your question – if your SO made a thread about you not wanting a ring, I’d tell him that’s unfair of him to not to at least hear you out or try to compromise. 🙂 But that wasn’t the discussion. @camenae nailed it. Still – genuinely happy to hear your update. Congratulations!

Post # 90
Member
1536 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

papayagelato :  The sighing is condescending and rude.  Fitzy :  said make a threaD, not a threaT.  

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