Post # 1
I have been engaged for 4 days and have not recieved a congratulatory phone call from my fiance’s family yet. There is a little bit of background, here is the deal:
My fiance is ten years older than I am and was married once in the past (although it only lasted about two years). He got into a fight with his sister right before Christmas and only made amends with her about two weeks ago. His grandmother is ill and it has certainly been very stressful on his mother. He has another sister who I have not heard from, however she left a voicemail on his voicemail. We have been dating for 3 1/2 years and living together for 2 years. I do feel that his family has not totally warmed up to me.
Am I overreacting, or should i have recieved a phone call from someone by now to congratulate me and welcome me into the family? I am starting to feel very concerned at the lack of enthusiasm from his side of the family. Thankfully, my family couldn’t be happier for us. Do you think that his family might not be all that excited because it’s the “2nd time around” for him? Should I reframe from calling them and wait it out/give them time to come around, or should I be seriously concerned?
Post # 3
How often do you usually speak with his family?
How often does he speak with his family?
How often do you see his family?
Post # 4
I see his family usually at least once a month. They really only call him to communicate with him, but he does talk to them every few days.
Post # 5
@kgrnbrg299: Do you know if they’ve congratulated him? Maybe they are waiting until they see you in person?
Post # 6
I’m not sure how you should feel.
I had called his siblings and his parents because I’m that close with them. The rest of his family, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins…no one really said anything to us the next time we saw them. I didn’t read into this though.
Have you asked him about it? I’m wondering if they are all occupied with his Grandmother being Ill??
You could always give them a call, I don’t know if they are waiting for you to call them to tell them all about it??
By the way Congrats on being engaged!!!
Post # 7
Well I think they may just be waiting to see you in person… Do the whole “Let me see the ring” “how exactly did he propose” thing… Maybe…
Post # 8
@kgrnbrg299: You and I are in the same boat, except I have been engaged over two years now, and still have never received a congratulatory anything from my fiance’s father or stepmother. His mom is a wonderful and kind-hearted person, but his dad and stepmom are quite cold. The night my fiance proposed, we texted and called them, but got no answer and no response to the news. I was very hurt for me, but even more hurt for my fiance. It still bothers me to this day, but it is what it is. I guess I should have expected the reaction (or lack there of), since all during high school they would never say a word to me when I went over my fiance’s house until I said hello first.
My fiance and I have been together six years now and engaged two. We simply don’t discuss our wedding plans with his dad or stepmom, as trying to in the past has gotten us nowhere. It’s upsetting, but ultimately, my fiance and I must do what is best for us.
I honestly think you should give it some time as you haven’t been engaged too long. Maybe they’d rather congratulate you both in person? Try not to worry in the meantime… I know, easier said than done! Either way, this is one of the happiest times in your life and should not be hindered by anyone else. Focus on you, your fiance, and the life you are both making together. Best of luck!