(Closed) Family house…more than I can handle?? Long..

posted 7 years ago in Home
Post # 3
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother.

I would try to focus on one room at a time. My parents have done lots of renovations over the years so I am used to their house being a mess but not everyone can live like that.

Figure out what you want to do with each space, how long it will take you and then start small. If you start small and finish small projects then it will slowly get done.

Post # 5
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

maybe make a list of everything that needs to be done, and the each of you take turns picking what you do next.  Incentive to get it done so you can work on the next thing!  =)

That way you can get what you want done, and he will help so you guys can move onto what HE wants.  And vise versa

Post # 6
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Have a sit down with Darling Husband and develop a list of your shared renovation priorities, identify a budget for each priority, and then tackle them one at a time. I think renos are much easier when you strategically and logically identify the path that you want to follow, and then stick to it.

Post # 7
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@lovekiss:  Agreed.  One thing at a time, and eventually it will all get finished.  It’s SO easy to be overwhelmed when you’re in the process and everything is all over!!  Map out what you want to do in each room (such as converting it into another room, painting, etc.) and start with the kitchen, since you need that.  Take everything out of there that doesn’t belong and either chuck it or place it where it does belong.  Oh, and also tell Darling Husband that if he doesn’t stick to the plan, you’ll lose your mind Wink

How old is the little one you nanny for?  I work in Daycare and seperation anxiety is very typical around the 9 month mark, and thankfully goes away.  If you watch her in your home, bring her with you when you work.  If you’re working in the kitchen, set her in a seat (or even a pack n play) for a little while with some toys (or paper and crayons if she’s older) so she can be with you and you can still get something done.  She needs to get used to being put down at some point, right?  

Good luck!

Post # 8
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

This sounds like a relationship communication issue, not a design dillema. You guys really need to sit down and examine how you’re communicating – and listening – to one another! It’s the most important part of a marriage, and this is a great project to get those issues out on the table. You both need to discuss what you’re comfortable with and what your priorities for the house are, and go from there. And then, once you’ve discussed this, discuss how you can implement what you’ve learned in other aspects of your relationship/marriage!

Post # 10
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am so sorry about your grandmother.

One room at a time is a great way to go. We bought a new hosue, so we didn’t need to do that route, but my mom did. She started with the kitchen, and has now moved through the office and bedroom, and will be tackling the master next followed by the bathrooms. She said it really helped to stay focused working this way.

Have fun with it!

Post # 11
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I agree with the PP, but just want to add. Please make sure you get in writing how much your Aunt and Uncle will sell the house for to you. The current price will be much lower than the upgraded house. They might use you to make all the upgrades, then sell it at a better price. I would keep track of how much you put into the house (save your receipts and the track the time you spent) and get an estimate of it’s current value. I would get in writing (through a lawyer) that you will buy it from your Aunt and Uncle for the current price or will get the difference (current vs future) or the actual costs that you spent whichever is higher. 

I would hate for you to lose all your sweat equity.

Post # 13
20 posts
  • Wedding: January 2013

I’m sorry about your grandmother.


can you sit down and make a list, together, on what is most important? Then work down that list. This way you are both on the same page. And i agree with a previous poster about tackling one room at a time.

Post # 14
5885 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Whitanella:  You would be surprised what a nice looking house vs a old shabby house will sell for, at least in this area. I’m talking $10,000-$30,000 diff. Just because the kitchen is sunny yellow instead of dark burgandy. 

Post # 15
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We moved into a ‘family house’ about 2 years ago. We had to clear out all the stuff (a lot of it from my FI’s childhood) and then start painting/tearing off wallpaper, etc. My only advice is:

focus on one room at a time.

Set aside a weekend and say, ok I”m doing the guest room this weekend. And then the next do another room. And eventually you will be done the whole house…but once you get one project done, you will be on a roll. A lot of times my Fiance wanted to start on something other than what I thought was important, so I would start working on something myself and then after a little bit he would join me and we would work together. It takes a lot of time and patience…but just pick a small room and start.

We thought about selling the house, but the house next door was not updated and had all the original hardware, counters, etc and it took over 2 years to sell. We knew that the position we were in meant we needed to upgrade, whether we lived there or not. Two years later, things look amazing and we love it! Can’t imagine selling now…but if we would decide to, we would get a little bit more money and it wouldnt take so long to sell!

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