(Closed) Family in the bride’s dressing room?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I really want to get ready with just my sister and daughter.  I don’t even want my mom/FMIL in the room.  They will take away from the fun, lightheartedness of the moment.  That being said, I’m pretty sure that totally excluding my mom will make Family War, so I have been trying to work out a way to give her limited access.  My tentative plan is for my wedding coordinator and the hotel staff to be given explicit directions about who is allowed to come to my room, and when.  My sister and I will arrive together at 5am for hair and make-up.  My parents are coming later with my children (around 7:30 am), so they will be escorted to my room at that time.  I will then leave for my First Look at 8:00, which means I only have to deal with my parents for 30 minutes. 

I would really like to have my kids there when I put my gown on, but I think that I will instead get dressed before they come so my mom doesn’t ruin that moment.  But I’m really conflicted on this particular issue.  Your post is prompting me to have a conversation with my coordinator about ways to have some quiet, private time with my kids that morning…

Post # 4
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I don’t want guests in the room, either. I want just me, my two MOHs, and Mom. There are a lot of women on FI’s side, and I don’t want FMIL/2 aunts/SIL/4 cousins in the room with us- sounds too hectic.

I guess people are excited and want to be “part of” the girlie stuff-makeup, etc? I don’t really get it, though. Can you keep your room number a secret? That’s my plan.

Post # 7
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Just tell your Maid/Matron of Honor that she’s not to let anyone in except a particular list of people.  It’s not unreasonable to not want to be seen by half your female guests before you’re dressed.

I’m keeping it pretty close, too- my girls, my mom, my grandmom, Future Mother-In-Law, and I know Future Mother-In-Law will bring a few stragglers, but I’m keeping them to a minimum.  It’s going to be too nuts as it is, and we’re getting ready at my house- I don’t want a zillion practical strangers running through the house upsetting our bird and letting the cat out while I’m trying not to lose my mind.

Post # 8
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Pinksapphire:  It is good to know someone else has a mother they dread sharing “getting ready” with.  lol.  My mom tried to grill me like a cheeseburger last night about the wedding.  Thank goodness my kids interrupted and she was cut short.  It is really not her day and none of her business thankyouverymuch.  lol. 

As for friends and extended family, I have never heard of people doing that and I would just give explicit instructions to the hotel staff that your location not be disclosed.  Also, don’t open the door unless a hotel staff member identifies themself on the other side. 

Post # 9
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wow, I have never heard of this.  As a guest it has never occurred to me to try to sneak a peek at the bride before she makes her entrance at the ceremony.

Keep your hotel room number on a need-to-know basis!  If word gets around and people start knocking, enlist a bridesmaid to crack the door and tell the rude people that you’re really looking forward to seeing everybody at the wedding, but that right now you need a bit of privacy.  And don’t make exceptions.

Post # 11
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

sounds like normal female behaviour to me!!

but if it will make you uncomfortable, you need to make someone a bouncer and keep everybody out.

Post # 12
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Pinksapphire:  OMG, I just snorted out loud.  My mom knows better than to say it outloud to me, but she clearly believes that she is the second, if not most, important person of the day.  lmao. 

I have to remember to do what makes me happy, not what torments her the most.  hehe

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I told my mother in law to let her peeps know that it was strictly bridesmaids and moms. No if ands or buts! Its your day, you dont want to feel anxious with all those bodies around!

Post # 14
Member
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I got ready, there were quite a few people in the room…Me, the hair dresser (and her sister, a friend of mine), my moh, 2 BMs, my mom, 2 flower girls (also my nieces, daughters of one of the BMs), sometimes a SIL who was helping with the FGs…. My dad stopped by and each of my brothers stopped by… My day of coordinator (mom of my Maid/Matron of Honor, my mom’s best friend, like a 2nd mom) was in and out too, including fixing something onmy bouquet that I didn’t like.  Needless to say, I was grateful she was there too.  I loved having all of these people there because they were all people I pictured having around me, my close friends and family… No other guests though! I’ve included a couple pics of the chaos 🙂

 

 

Post # 15
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I want just me, my mom and my SIL in the room when I get dressed. More people would just stress me out.

Post # 16
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Im going to be getting ready at my parents house, and they have a nice big bathroom, kitchen and spare room. All I want is my 2 sister (also my bms) and my mom. Our hairdresser is coming to the house, so that saves some running around. My grandmas will also be there, but I like having them around. They are very cool and calm (lol). Closer to the end, when I have my dress on and ready to go, I want just my parents, and to spend a few minutes with my dad, because we are very close.

But as far as other guest…no way!!!! To many people will stress me out and distract me, and that goodness for my little sister being the Maid/Matron of Honor, cause she will definitly keep people out!

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