(Closed) Family invitation help

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

ouch. i wouldn’t do it for fear of offending people. even if you only see them twice a year, you’ll have to see them twice a year for the rest of your life with the possibility of having an elephant in the room. maybe you can have an hour d’oeuvres reception instead of full sit-down dinner to save money. i know someone who recently did this and people ended up getting full off of all the different appetizers. it also created an atmosphere that was more conducive to mingling and celebrating. good luck!

Post # 5
Member
581 posts
Busy bee

I want to make sure I understand, and I guess there are two propossals here.

1.  Invite  immediate family and best friends to the ceremony and sit-down reception.

2.  Invite the whole family and best friends to the ceremony and only the immediate family and best friends to the reception.

If this is what you propose, then #1 is the way to go.  #2 would be rude and send the message you can watch us get married, but you aren’t important enough to join us for the celebratory meal.

Personally, I like @miss birdy’s suggestion.  It takes care of everyone.

 

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

Do whatever you’re comfortable with, it’s your wedding! The social standards you have might be different than what we have here in the States. Just remember you have to live with the decision and that it may hurt and/or offend a lot of people. Personally though, I would do what Miss Birdy suggested.

Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’m confused… you are having two receptions in the same day?

Post # 10
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Wow!  Nope… here we just have the one reception… I guess in that case as long as they are invited to one of the receptions it would be a little better…  Although I’m still definitely of the mindset that a wedding invitation is all or nothing… I know I would feel slighted if I was only asked to come to part of the celebrations, no matter how little I knew the bride and groom.

Post # 11
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yeah, I’m not really sure what the etiquette is for something like that.  Would your evening guests (the ones arriving around 8:00) show up and see that others had a sit-down dinner?  Some people might find that offensive, though if you have the two receptions at different locations, it’s less likely to be so obvious.  I think you might just be better off only inviting your immediate family and friends to the whole wedding and just not invite the others?

Post # 14
Member
5671 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t see anything wrong with it if you can’t afford to invite more people. I wouldn’t just ignore it though, I would probably just let them know the situation and that you would love to have had them but due to financial constraints you are only able to invite immediate family. My mother only had 20 guests for his wedding which only covered some immediate family (only some aunts/uncles and no cousins). My mother explained the situation to our family so they knew why they were left out. We still see everyone on holidays and it’s fine.

Post # 15
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my town does something kinda like that… but its not two full receptions.. usually what happens here is that the couple gets married, the church helps put on the reception, they serve the ceremony guests a meal and then anyone in the congregation or anyone who wants to can come to the dance later in the evening.

i think that you can spread the word about your second reception, but i would never send out an invitation telling people to only come to one reception over the other.

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