Post # 1
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
Hello! I’m new to the boards so I’m still learning the ropes a bit. I have a little bit of an issue with my invite list. My mom’s brother is a nightmare. He doesn’t drink, but he likes to cause drama everywhere he goes about everything. He once accused my family of squandering their money by sending me to college instead of helping him pay for his life (he doesn’t work, never worked, refuses to work). We’re not close with him at all because he makes such a big deal about everything, and he’s extremely selfish. However, his wife is really sweet and likes our family a lot. My issue is that I feel like I lose either way I go. If I invite him, he’ll make a huge deal that I spent money on the wedding instead of helping him, but if we don’t invite him he’ll make a huge deal that we’re cutting him out of the family. I talked to my mother, and she said it’s completely my decision. She understands exactly why I would choose to not to invite him. We’re inviting 150 people so we can’t really go with the small wedding excuse. And he’s family, I feel like I should suck it up and deal with his complaining, but I’m so nervous he might make a scene during the wedding. I was wondering what y’all might do in this situation. Thank you all so much!
Post # 2
Member
9985 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
I would invite him. If you want to invite your aunt, you have to invite your uncle. It’s also not cool to invite some aunts/uncles and not others.
Post # 3
Member
7440 posts
Busy Beekeeper
They are a unit so you have to invite both or neither. Although your mother can call him prior to the wedding and warn him that if he starts to make offensive remarks about the wedding at the wedding then he will kindly be “asked” to leave. Your male family members can keep an eye out for it
Post # 4
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
theatrejulia: +1
Ultimately, you have to decide if you want your aunt that badly because you cannot invite one without the other. I may be biased but I don’t do the “they’re family” outlook anymore in cases like these. Everyone has their own tolerance policy though. No right or wrong. I would definetely have someone look out for him and kindly have him removed if causing a scene as theatrejulia said if you choose to invite.
Post # 5
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee
My daughter had a smaller wedding – hosted less than 100. Neither she or her husband invited one uncle/aunt couple, from each side. I don’t know what the story is, on his side, but the MOG didn’t supply the uncle’s name or address. On our side, we don’t even have the uncle’s address. The only communication my husband has with his brother is to exchange one birthday e-mail, each year. In his case, it’s his wife who’s has the entitlement/attitude problem and is impossible to be around (without fighting the urge to strangle …).
Post # 6
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
Agree with mobx2 you don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want. Maybe you can talk to your aunt and say you feel uncomfortable withnher husbands behaviour and see if she is willing to help control him. if she gets mad at your honesty at least you tried to give her reason rather than just excluding her. she will likely get mad anyway if you just don’t invite them so at least this way you tried.