- 6 years ago
Okay I’ve been holding this one for awhile so since some of the other wedding related drama and stress has subsided I want to get opinions…..
I have a cousin who lives about 45 min away from me…. We used to be very close about 8 years ago when we found out that we lived near each other (prior we had only met once she grew up in another state) In the short time getting to know her I found out along with being abused as a child physically, emotionally, and verbally, and a suicide attempt in her teens, she was very much an attention seeking person and pretty emotionally unstable. It took me awhile to really understand this about her being she was a family member and I wasn’t looking at her behavior “objectively” enough to see she was a troubled young lady.
Our relationship pretty much developed a pattern of us getting along, having fun, to then she would becoming very angry at me lash out and push me away. After about 3-4 instances of this behavior I eventually became fed up when I revealed a something private to her and she jokingly shared it with a family member who later mentioned it directly to me and I had to pretend I didn’t know what they were talking about. My family then suggested I forgive her because I was not being “nice to family” and should “understand” that she had issues. … I ended up moving away for a few years and that solved the problem in the meantime she changed her email address and phone numbers.
It’s been 4 years and now the news is out that I’m getting married ….my original position a few months ago was I wasn’t going to invite her… Some of my family says if I don’t invite her I will look piety because the whole family will be there from out of state over 15 hours away and she is only 45 min away and not there. At first I was pretty stubborn that it was my day and I didn’t want my gossipy, emotionally unstable, cousin there pretending we were BFF. ….now I recently found out her abusive dad is being put in a nursing home and I’m feeling guilty for wanting to exclude her…I’m starting to wonder if I should allow bygones to be bygones just for this one day…. Or if I go against my gut I will regret it …Thoughts…