- 5 years ago
- Wedding: February 2014
My family is ruining my wedding. I thought that this time would be the best time of my life but its been nothing but tears and heart ache because of my mother and sister. First the back story. My mother has never been too fond of my FH because of the fact that we are different religions. Which its not her choice. The night we got engaged I called her to tell her that i was engaged and the only reaction I got out of her was “oh what do you want me to say” How about congratulations or something along those lines. Either way I moved past it. Ever since then my mother has just been so uninterested in anything when it comes to planning my wedding.
Me and my FH live in a different city and the wedding is being held in my home town. We only have one weekend a month that we can drive down there to actually get wedding planning done. So typically when we go down there we try to pack as much as we can into 2 days. When we started all the actual wedding planning I thought I would include my mom. I had scheduled a tasting for a caterer and cake vendor. Accidentally I scheduled all the tastings for the same day my cousin was having her bridal shower. The shower was planned last minute and I had already scheduled the tastings a month before I even knew about the shower. Some of my family was saying I was doing everything too early and that it was my cousins day and that I should wait. Which I would of understood but intially she didnt want a shower and nothing was ever planned. When I talked to my mom about it she said “oh well you two can taste the food by yourselves” which I understand we could but I was trying to include her. I told her basically she was saying her own niece was more important than her own daughter. Reluctanly she agreed to go to the tastings. The week before we were planning do drive down there my mother got sick with strep throat. I gave her until thrusday to see how she was doing. She said that she was still not feeling good and I decided to cancel the tastings and reschedule for another weekend. Eventually I found out though that she sure did make a speedy recovery in the next 2 days and went to my cousins shower either way. That was strike 2.
One day when I was looking online I had seen that the dream dress I had always wanted was on a sample sale back home. I immediately called to set up an appt. Again however I didnt know that the weekend i set up the appt was also the weekend my mother and younger sister were going out of state for a school trip. I was uneasy about it but I was so worried that the dress would be gone if I waited for her to go with us. I went and took my older sister and my maid of honor with me instead. I tried on a billion dresses but when I tried of the dress I had seen I knew it was the one. Its the one above. My sister wasnt that big of a fan of it but my best friend said immediately when I came out in that dress I lit up. So I bought it.
Yesterday I was back in town because of the easter weekend. I thought this would be a perfect time for me to show my mother the chapel we booked and the dress all of which she missed the last time I was there. When we got to the dress shop she insisted that I try on some other dress. I agreed and saw some that I liked but once I put on the dress I originally picked I knew I still loved that dress. When I came out my mom immediately started critizing. She said that it was ok and that it looked weird. I tried to be calm and said I dont care I love it but after about the 100th insult I exploded and told her to “shut the f*** up” in the store. I know I know not my best moment and I did feel really bad about it but I couldnt take it anymore. This was the dress I loved I felt perfect in it and she kept ruining the moment.
On the awkward car ride home I finally told her that her and my sister are ruining my wedding for me. Its not about what they want it should be about what I want. From the groom to the dress its my decision and my life. She started to lecture me about how it breaks her heart that the dress is just not me and that I have done all this without including. I couldnt believe she had the nerve to tell me that after I have tried to include her after time and time again but she seems to careless. I know for a fact that she doesnt want this wedding to happen and shes doing everything she can to bring me down with her. I get it if she doesnt like the dress thats her opinion but I feel as a mother she should at least accept what I want and support me. It got so bad that it ended with me telling her that if she didnt want to pay for the dress she didnt have to and that she didnt have to come to the wedding as well.
I dont know what to do. I want more than anything for my family to be there for this big moment in my life but they have made this whole experience horrible. I do also want to stand my ground and not let them think that they can make me pick something I dont want. Why cant my mother just act like my mom.