(Closed) Family issues-what to do: Didn't come to my wedding-just got their invite

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 17
11535 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

View original reply
@fivemonthsnotice:  Wow! So, you just received the wedding invitation in the mail TODAY, August 13, and the RSVP deadline is August 15?

Post # 19
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

+1 for a simple “no” with no explanation, before the RSVP date.

The lack of gift is what tips me over the edge. Why spend a gift on them when they won’t on you? It’s not about being vindictive or unforgiving, just simply recognising that the relationship isn’t close.

As for the comment about the wife not being the one who got drunk… they’re a couple, they’re in it together.

Post # 20
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

If you do not want to go, and I don’t blame you, decline and send a card congratulating them.  Do not include a gift, just the card will suffice.  Use kind words and don’t bring up your wedding or anything else.  Just “Congrats from the both of us! We wish you well on your big day, so sorry we can’t make it!  Have a wonderful day and congrats again!  xoxo etc”


Also, you received the invite 3 days before the RSVP deadline.  You are a B list invite.  They’ve made their feelings and willingness to continue your close relationship clear.  Don’t be spiteful or mean, just be gracious and polite and know where you stand.  

Post # 21
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Just don’t do anything out of spite no matter what. It won’t make you look good to other family members. Go or else just simply RSVP with a no. 


Had he been my fiancé and he acted like that I probably would have been too embarrassed to contact you so I can understand where his fiancé is coming from. Also to be honest if a cousin decides to act like that to me I wouldn’t be happy about it, but I wouldn’t let it get to me so much either. He just made himself look like an ass so just leave it at that.

Post # 22
5070 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

seriously?  you’re on the B List??  unreal.

Post # 23
11259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

if you don’t want to go, simply check off decline and put it in the mailbox.

i know it’s upsetting but don’t let it get to you.  you should be enjoying marital bliss not stressing about something that happened days ago that you have no control over.  be the bigger person and just let it go.

Post # 25
2615 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

wow at least try to make the b list look like an a list guest.. 1 can easyily be penned into a 2… lol.  not that i did that no….



decline no need for reasons just a big x on the the regretfully decline___


Post # 26
5426 posts
Bee Keeper

I would decline and actually write in how many days in advance you did that…If I remember correctly they only gave you 5 hours notice? Not cool.

Post # 27
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Just decline with a fat, angry Sharpie X….. Or go and don’t bring a gift! 

Post # 28
376 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would RSVP decline. It would be being the bigger person to send them a card- I think its good advice. I fully agree with NO gift and don’t explain why you can’t come- you simply cannot. I think if you send the card it looks less like you are angry and more like you really just can’t make it. However, since the cousin didn’t send YOU a card or a gift- I don’t think they will think twice if you don’t. To THEM its socially acceptable to decline a wedding invite the day of through facebook AND NOT to send a card. They won’t think twice if you don’t send a card- so why bother? 😛

If they don’t want to put the effort into your relationship then just back off of it. They will either decide to reach out for you more or let you go. And if they decide to let you go then you know they weren’t worth the effort. Don’t stress yourself out over people who simply don’t care.

Post # 29
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

For giggles…check “decline” and then FB them the day before and tell them your plans opened up and you can now attend. EVIL!!

The topic ‘Family issues-what to do: Didn't come to my wedding-just got their invite’ is closed to new replies.

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