- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
This meltdown is about my wedding and my dress.
I’m getting married in December and I just feel so out of place. At first I was really confident, but so much judgement has come my way that I feel like crap. I’m tired of everyone making stupid comments about the things I like. I’m tired of people trying to sway me in other directions. Overall, although it’s not logical, I feel like there is something wrong with me. Also, finding a wedding dress is slowly becoming such a dramatic process.
I like things that are earthy, whimsical, or bohemian. Shredded elegance. Most of my family doesn’t get it (except for my mom, sort of). The dw will be in a lodge overlooking the Smoky Mountains. My colors are mustard yellow, teal, and cranberry. I want to use acorns, cinnamon sticks, dry flowers, and other things. I don’t want hot pink uplighting with glitter and diamonds or ice sculptures everywhere! My family just doesn’t get it.
On the other extreme…FI’s family are all sports fans who wear t-shirts, hoodies, and jeans. If it was up to them we’d be having a very plain no fuss wedding, with some punch and a sheet cake. To them, my creativity seems really extravagant. One time, because he asked, I told FI’s brother our wedding colors and about the feel of the wedding and he flat out started laughing. To them weddings are pale green and brown, or just red and black. It’s like I’m speaking a different language.
My dad’s long time gf took me to a bridal shop while I was visiting him. Let’s just say I did not try on one thing. She tried on like 6 dresses and had me take pictures of her with her cell. It was awkward (they’re not even engaged). She loves super glitzy glam diva bling clothes and super high heels. You can just imagine. Her idea of weddings and wedding dresses is totally different than mine. She just thinks I have bad taste and don’t know how to dress. I’m pretty sure she talks behind my back about it.
Anyway..I want my dress to be beautiful and stylish but why should this whole bridal experience revolve around it? Why is everyone SO focused on what dress I’m going to wear? I feel like that’s all people ask about. Then they give me their 2 cents.
People keep commenting on how weird I am when I say:
-You get the vibe of the wedding. I want my dress to fit with all of it and be ME.
-I don’t really want to go wedding dress shopping or have people comment on the things I try on…or feel pressured into making a decision.
-I am totally ok with buying a used dress
-I like color dresses when they are done right
-If I can’t find something now I am even considering on getting a white or ivory “non-bridal” designer dress off the rack at Neiman Marcus or Sak’s a month before the wedding (nothing that looks like prom).
-I also will not spend over $600 on it. Even though I could, I just don’t want to. It just feels so wrong to me. I am too conscious about international development and social issues. I can’t deal with knowing there are people in the world who are starving, etc. while I buy an article of clothing that is thousands of dollars for ONE day. I’m not judging anyone, but I just can’t do it without literally feeling sick.
Ugh. I just needed to let this out.
It’s not like I’m wearing fairy wings or having a mideval theme! I like some stuff by (spell check?) Claire Pettibone, Jenny Packham, Wai-Ching,Jim Hjhelm, and Marchesa but I cannot bring myself to go over the budget imposed by my heart. Sue Wong is my back up plan.
Any support/suggestions appreciated. I just feel discouraged and down.
My most current dress crush:
Others I’ve liked: