Post # 1
This is mostly just a rant because I’m not sure any advice in the world can fix this…
so I just found out that my 42 year old cousin has decided to finally tie the knot… on the same day as me.
I’ve been engaged for about two years and getting married next summer. FH and myself picked the date a year ago when we booked the venue, and we told our entire family trees at the same time. So my cousin has known for a year what our wedding date is.
so fast forward to this weekend. Turns out my cousin just got engaged, AND HAS BOOKED HIS DESTINATION WEDDING ON THE SAME DAY AS MINE.
So basically my family now has to choose if the want to travel south for his wedding or travel west for mine.
I don’t know if I have a right to be angry, but I am. I really really am.
Post # 2
Since you announced and booked the date first, aren’t there any family members who can apply pressure on him to move his date? Did his Fiance set it without knowing?
Post # 3
I think you have every right to be angry! Especially if you were sure he knew about the date. If he didn’t, I would arrange for you two to talk calmly about options and figure out what you want to do.
Post # 4
Yeah that’s messed up. Is there a chance that they just had a brain fart and forgot this was your date?
Either way I would hope most of your family members would choose to go to your wedding since they knew about it first.
Post # 5
That’s super messed up. Ughhh. I would the local versus destination if that helps.
Post # 6
I’d be upset about this too, bee! How close are you to your cousin? Maybe you can reach out in a friendly way to ask why. They may not change the date but at maybe they at least have a reason? (grasping at straws here) Regardless, since you announced your date first I think other family members would give them the side-eye because that’s really messed up
Post # 7
you don’t have the right to be angry. 42 and finally getting married. Scheduling is hard and they probably don’t want to wait. Do you care if they attend? I wouldn’t. However it’s probably intentional. They are probably hoping a lot of family doesn’t show since they will be at your wedding.
Post # 8
So rude. I would be mad. And I wouild probably tell them it is rude and that they should change it.
Post # 9
I am so sorry!
Something similar happened to me as well. We picked our date, family members were told and a cousin chose a day 2 days before mine! ( we were aiming for a destination wedding).
Hang in there bee.
Post # 10
My Aunt was the one who told my mom about it. She said she didn’t need a room reserved anymore because [insert evil relative’ name] decided to get married that date too.
im sure most of our relatives will go to mine, simply because a 6 hour drive and paid accommodations are more assessible than a week in the dominican
On the bright side, less people means more money I can spend on food and drink
Post # 11
What’s the age cut off for having the right to be angry?
Are you sure they are going to be inviting people? Since its a destination wedding. I would be annoyed.
Post # 12
the OP the right to be pissed if her cousin is going to be forcing their shared set of grandparents to choose. What an awkward situation.
Post # 13
that sucks that it happened to you 🙁
did you confront them or just let it slide? I really want to confront him but at the same time I also don’t want to make things awkward for my family
Post # 14
You’ve got to be kidding me. Of course OP has a right to be upset. There are 365 days in a year, and her cousin chose the one day
that he knew
OP was getting married. OP now will have to face the likelihood that family members may not attend her wedding for theirs, family she loves and wants to see on her big day. It also puts family members in terrible spot. They’ll have to ask themselves, “Which wedding? Should I see my niece or my nephew get married?”
Think of OP’s poor grandparents! They have to choose which grandchild they’ll see get married.
Post # 15
anybody, no matter their age has a right to their feelings.
OP, what did your mother day when your aunt called her. obviously they knew your date. but in reality how many guests will overlap. you still have all your friends and DH’s family. i would assume your cousins immediate family will go to theirs. but people you are close to will come to yours, especially if it is local, you are covering accomodations, and they already knew about the date.