(Closed) Family member hyjacked my wedding date!

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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PrincessShelly :  Since you announced and booked the date first, aren’t there any family members who can apply pressure on him to move his date?  Did his Fiance set it without knowing?   

Post # 3
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

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PrincessShelly :  I think you have every right to be angry! Especially if you were sure he knew about the date. If he didn’t, I would arrange for you two to talk calmly about options and figure out what you want to do. 

Post # 4
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yeah that’s messed up. Is there a chance that they just had a brain fart and forgot this was your date?

Either way I would hope most of your family members would choose to go to your wedding since they knew about it first.

Post # 5
6150 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s super messed up. Ughhh. I would the local versus destination if that helps. 

Post # 6
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’d be upset about this too, bee! How close are you to your cousin? Maybe you can reach out in a friendly way to ask why. They may not change the date but at maybe they at least have a reason? (grasping at straws here) Regardless, since you announced your date first I think other family members would give them the side-eye because that’s really messed up

Post # 7
641 posts
Busy bee

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PrincessShelly :  you don’t have the right to be angry. 42 and finally getting married. Scheduling is hard and they probably don’t want to wait. Do you care if they attend? I wouldn’t. However it’s probably intentional. They are probably hoping a lot of family doesn’t show since they will be at your wedding. 

Post # 8
4066 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

So rude.  I would be mad.  And I wouild probably tell them it is rude and that they should change it.

Post # 9
61 posts
Worker bee

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PrincessShelly :  I am so sorry!

Something similar happened to me as well. We picked our date, family members were told and a cousin chose a day 2 days before mine! ( we were aiming for a destination wedding).

Hang in there bee.

Post # 11
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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summerrain123 :  What’s the age cut off for having the right to be angry? 


Are you sure they are going to be inviting people? Since its a destination wedding. I would be annoyed. 

Post # 12
1506 posts
Bumble bee

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summerrain123 :  the OP the right to be pissed if her cousin is going to be forcing their shared set of grandparents to choose. What an awkward situation. 

Post # 14
2883 posts
Sugar bee

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summerrain123 :  You’ve got to be kidding me. Of course OP has a right to be upset. There are 365 days in a year, and her cousin chose the one day that he knew OP was getting married. OP now will have to face the likelihood that family members may not attend her wedding for theirs, family she loves and wants to see on her big day. It also puts family members in terrible spot. They’ll have to ask themselves, “Which wedding? Should I see my niece or my nephew get married?”

Think of OP’s poor grandparents! They have to choose which grandchild they’ll see get married.

Post # 15
7937 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

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summerrain123 :  anybody, no matter their age has a right to their feelings. 


OP, what did your mother day when your aunt called her.  obviously they knew your date.  but in reality how many guests will overlap.  you still have all your friends and DH’s family.  i would assume your cousins immediate family will go to theirs.  but people you are close to will come to yours, especially if it is local, you are covering accomodations, and they already knew about the date.

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