(Closed) Family Member Troubles

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 2
30400 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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NotSoPatientlyWaiting:  Stop discussing your wedding plans with them or anyone who would share with them.

Anytime the topic comes up, be non-commital “We haven’t finalized that yet”.

Post # 3
2769 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would refuse to talk about wedding plans with anyone who would share them with him, and also ask that no one tell his wedding plans to you. Then anything that is similar will be pure coincidence.


edit to add: his fiancé may have her own ideas of what to do with their wedding, just saying. If they are not engaged yet it is a bit beforehand for him to be booking venues.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by babeba.
Post # 4
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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NotSoPatientlyWaiting:  agree with the others, don’t tell your relatives your plans, and proceed the way you want.

Post # 5
69 posts
Worker bee

If they don’t know your plans, they can’t gripe about them! 

It is absolutely possible that your aunt and cousin are raining on your parade, so to speak.  But, I think it may be more likely that he is close to proposing, perhaps he and his future wife have also discussed a rustic wedding, and his mother has maybe been quietly  helping him/them by sort of “pre planning”. Maybe she’s just trying to make sure her son has a good venue, and sort of discouraging you from any ideas they have already thought about so both weddings won’t be too similar?

Also, keep in mind that to her, her son’s wedding will always take precedence over yours. I wouldn’t worry about any of it. Plan what you like, and don’t give any details!

Post # 6
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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NotSoPatientlyWaiting:  Definitely just stop discussing your wedding plans with anyone who is going to turn it into a competition. Book whatever you want, whenever you want. Don’t tell anyone where it’s taking place until the invites go out. One does not get to call dibs when they are not even engaged!

Post # 7
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

How is he competing with you if he’s planning his wedding and keeping the plans to himself, as he isn’t yet engaged? It sounds like your grandmother is causing the drama, as she was specifically told not to tell anyone.

Post # 9
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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NotSoPatientlyWaiting:  The first piece of advice my sister (who is my Maid/Matron of Honor and got married the same year as our oldest sister and almost all of her friends) said keep your wedding plans to yourself. 

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