(Closed) Family members being unsupportive

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@catherinequince:  First of all I’m sorry you have to deal with so much drama and stress!

I would avoid discussing the wedding with your negative family members. If they insist on bringing it up, maybe you can jsut say something like “everything is settled, we’re just working on last minute details now”, so they know there is nothing they canchange at this point. 

Fortunately, you don’t need to talk to random people about your wedding, that’s what the bee is for! While we’re sort of random, the point is to talk about weddings so I think you’ll be fine there. 

It is really stressful paying for thigns when you’re not sure you have the money. I would sit down and figure out exactly what you owe and exactly what you have to pay for it. If you owe more than you can pay, I’d try to cut anything that you can at this point, or make plans to make or save extra money so that you can. I find knowing about finances helps me not stress about them. 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
4605 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

First of all, I’m sorry that you are dealing with this. I have been there myself, and still am to some degree. 

When I first got engaged, no one in my family cared. My mom told me that she hoped it was a joke and when she realized it wasn’t, she just acted like if she ignored the fact that I was getting married, that it would just go away. Needless to say, it still hasn’t gone away, but she has gotten so much better. I think some parents just need time to adjust. The rest of my family? Not so much. I think the vast majority are in the same boat my mom was in originally, they think that it won’t happen, my grandparents hate FH and esentially feel like if I marry him, then I might as well be dead.  

It’s causing a lot of stress for me because I often wonder if there’s any reason to have a traditional wedding since I highly doubt anyone will show up (my mom seems to think they will). Having a JOP or a sort of elopement would be much easier, but my mom wants this wedding now and since she’s offered to pay I don’t feel like I can back out. 

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