(Closed) Family members choosing a date close to ours!

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
30399 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You already have your wedding date- you don’t have to fight for it. There is only one other wedding planned for this year. I am sure your families can handle 3 weddings in one year.

Post # 4
167 posts
Blushing bee

you don’t get a season….  try not to panic until the dates are set.  even then, it’s not worth it to be mean to your fi’s family.  i hope you weren’t serious about that.

Post # 5
507 posts
Busy bee

This is something I never really understand, but maybe it’s just because I’m not in the situation.  Why should another couple be forced to put their future on hold because this is “your year/season”?  “Get your own year”  Really? I understand that you’re frustrated.  But, if I was in your shoes I would tread lightly on the matter, and I certainly wouldn’t intentionally be mean to someone who will soon be a part of my family.  You get a day.  Take the energy you’re wasting and put it towards something positive.

Post # 6
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Carliej01:  I get how it can be annoying, but you shouldn’t consider it as “your season.”  Consider this, what if you guys were the last ones to get engaged but decided to get married in the fall?  They would get annoyed too.  I’ve been in the same situation, but in the end, things will just fall into place so just chill.

Post # 7
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Let all family members know your date in a non-catty way. That way, when the newly engaged couple starts picking dates, they won’t go for your date/weekend. 

Seriously though, you do NOT get a season. I am going to two weddings in May and my own is in September. They are all the same social group. I’m actually anticipating a save the date or two more for September/October. Multiple wedding years happen.

The family has plenty of time to save up for plane tickets if they don’t have enough savings to do so. Not to mention flights from New England to FL are super cheap booked in advance. Sounds like you’re also (perhaps rightly) peeved that their relationship is immature and young to get married. The problem is, you’re not worried about their marriage, you just want them to wait as long as you did so that they’d have their wedding much later. Sigh

Just a funny note- I’m getting married September 8th and it’s summer, not fall. You may just get “your” season after all. 

Post # 8
1875 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with PPs.  You get one day, not a year, not a season.  I would politly make sure that they know your wedding date and leave it at that.  If you’re getting married early September, they can still get married in late October and have a fall wedding with plenty of time inbetween.  And who knows, maybe they’ll plan for fall of next year since they’ve only been dating for 6 months.

Post # 9
2492 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Am I wrong to be upset about this?

Absolutely, 100% wrong.

IT’S OUR SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You get ONE DAY, not a SEASON.

For anyone who actually reads this, please let me know how you would handle a situation like this? I would hate for this to turn into a slap-down of the brides, but I’m not afraid to fight for my wedding date either.

You don’t have anything to handle. People can get married any day of the year. I doubt any of them are planning to do it on the same day as you.

Stop being a bridezilla.

Post # 10
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Normally I can atleast see where the bride is coming from when these rants are posted. Often times I even agree with her (like when siblings are getting married within weeks of each other) but your attitude is kinda crappy. You don’t get a whole season, you get one day. I know the whole “one day” mentality is annoying since it really isn’t just one day but unless his cousin is planning their wedding for the week before or after yours, there’s really nothing to complain about. Yes, some guests may have to choose but that’s life. If you’re that concerned then I would probably work on getting your STD’s out asap so that everyone knows that your date is set in stone. 

Post # 11
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I got married on 10/8/2011, and you know what I did the 3 weekends prior to my own wedding? Went to other people’s weddings. 1 was an actual cousin, one was a very close family friend (closer than family, actually) and one was an old neighborhood friend. My parents also attended these weddings, 4 weekends in a row. The main guest list overlap was with my actual cousin, and all the aunts and uncles that were invited to both her wedding and my wedding came to both. I know it seems stressful now, but don’t let it get to you – for most guests, a wedding is a one day affair, and they are capable of going to multiple weddings in a season.

Post # 12
12326 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry, but you dont get a season, you dont even get a month.  Are you willing to move your date?  Probably not, you dont want to put your marriage and life on hold as much as anyone else.  And getting engaged in Oct and Dec is no where near close. 


Post # 13
757 posts
Busy bee

You get one day for your wedding.  Personally, I have about 50 first cousins, with a good dozen around my age.  If we each took our own season or year, some would have to put off their marriage for years.  You cannot expect someone to put their lives on hold just because you are getting married.  And just because they only dated for 6 months, doesn’t make your relationship more legit, some people don’t want to wait and just want to get married before starting their lives.  Now, if they plan it for the same day as your, you can be upset, but the other 364 days aren’t yours to claim.

Post # 14
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

As long as the other wedding is not scheduled for the same day, or on the same weekend but in a different city, I don’t think there should be a problem.

Post # 15
3282 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1993

Lol, my DH’s family had ourselves and two cousins get married within 10 WEEKS of each other. If DH and I had waited one week, we’d have all been in the same season, the horror!

Did it bug me? Yes, but only when dumb cousin put her bridal shower 5 days before my wedding, instead of many other more convenient times for that side of the family (many of the people she invited were at yet another cousin’s graduation two states away the weekend prior) so her picking that weekend was quite rude, in that it made about 2 dozen people have to travel three weekends in a row.

But as far as the weddings, everything worked out. So sorry, but I don’t think you can expect to get a whole season to yourself.

Post # 16
141 posts
Blushing bee

I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but I don’t know why so many girls get so bothered that other people would like to get married in a certain month! You get a DAY. You are marrying the man you love. This is a special, happy time. Why waste your time being angry that other people would like to marry the one’s they love “too close” to your date?

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