(Closed) Family members choosing a date close to ours!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

If you’re this upset already, I think you’re setting yourself up for a very stressful year.

I was married a month before my cousin and his fiancee. They were engaged first, so I checked with them before setting a date (they hadn’t set a date yet). My cousin told me, “I’m so excited that we get to do this together,” and i felt the same way. Provided it’s not two weekends in a row for a large number of Out of Town guests, it’s really not a burden on anyone.

Try to think of something else, and consider how you would feel if someone wanted you to wait an extra six months to get married so that they could have a “season” to themselves.

Post # 18
3450 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wouldn’t stress about it.  You and your Fiance have your date set.  You’re making plans.  You only have to show up and have fun at the other weddings.

Post # 19
4677 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My cousin and I are getting married about 3 weeks apart – I got engaged a full year after her.  I e-mailed her to see if she would mind me setting a date so close.  Her answer: “I’m so happy for you two! Thanks for thinking of us, but feel free to get married whenever you want!”

THAT is how you should be responding to the other couple thinking about the same season as you.



Post # 20
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would be irritated too. I am in the same boat. Me and my Fiance got engaged last year  and now, 3 other family members (including his little sister) have gotten engaged since then. One of them is even getting married the weekend before ours! So I totally feel you. All I can say is to concentrate on YOUR wedding. That day will be all about YOU and nobody else. 3 others weddings wont make YOUR wedding any less special =)

Post # 21
1561 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Well first, I find it really rude that you are judging this person’s engagement and upcoming wedding.  Maybe he really truly loves this woman and wants to marry her, not “just to get in her pants.”  

Second, your season????!!!!!  I can’t even… I mean… just, wow.  No.  

I’ve been to a lot of weddings in the same season.  It’s no.big.deal.

You need to chill out.

Post # 22
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

As a family member who is experiencing this right now, I have to say that most families are not made of money, so if there were a few times in one year I was being asked to fly,get a hotel, and send gifts for both pre-wedding parties plus wedding gifts, I’d be a little annoyed. Each wedding I attend costs on average $1000.+ (and those are local), so to spread them out a little would be pretty nice and much appreciated.

I haven’t ever heard of a bride expecting a ‘season’, tho.

Post # 23
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I see that you wrote this at about 2am. I’m assuming you were just not thinking straight because it was quite late and you may have had a glass or two of wine. 

A SEASON? That’s ridiculous. “Forced to be mean?” A “slap-down of the brides?” Are you a crazy person?

Please go back and re-read your post and re-evaluate your feelings about the situation, then come back and tell us you feel calmer and more secure. I think you’re getting the side eye from a lot of Bees right now. Feel better.

Post # 24
225 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When hubby and I got engaged, two of his cousins had already gotten engaged and they ended up setting their dates before us (August 27 & October 21).  We also wanted to get married in the fall and didn’t want to wait an additional year so we planned ours right in the middle (Sept. 24).  Everyone in our family completely understood that when you have a large family with a lot of people around the same age, it’s kind of bound to happen.  No one was mad, they just realized we were all doing the best we could to fit our weddings in.  If we were able to manage three weddings over three months without our families flipping out, maybe you should reevaluate your own issues with the situation….

Post # 25
637 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
@MalbecMe:  Well said.

Post # 26
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

View original reply
@sweetcrackers:  those are the exact phrases that stuck out to me… especially the “forced to be mean” comment. Ugh. Seriously.

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