(Closed) Family member’s fake wedding plans to sabotage!

posted 8 years ago in Family
  • poll: How do I handle the situation?
    Call her and speak to her calm letting her know that she hurt me? : (17 votes)
    22 %
    Ignore her cry for attention and wait for everything to come to the light in the end. : (44 votes)
    57 %
    Call her let her have it, and cut off all communication until she apologizes. : (16 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee

    i had a friend with the siliar situation but she was plotting to have it on the same day. my friend just let it go and continued with ehr wedding plans. some of the family showed up and some didnt. Its there loss for not coming to a beautiful wedding. It should be about you and not them so dont let it spoil your day and plans. It seems like she is trying to get on you so that you can cancel and so that she can have her day on ur date. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee

    no prob! shes just doing it out of spite and i know your wedding will be fabulous! I would just be really really nice to her (kill her with kindness) and just make her envious/jealous of all your details. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    3252 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Ooooo. How annoying!!

    Post # 7
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    It’s not the easiest option, but I voted that you call her calmly & explain that she really hurt you! It’s not okay that she’s plotting against you, saying all these things about you & has turned family members against you. Just let her know that her actions and avoidance have been extremely hurtful & see if you can talk it out!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would call. But I would keep the same wedding date.. and just continue life as normal. Those people you really care about you will be at your wedding and ready to support you. Those people are the ones that will support you in your marriage and be there for advice.

    I really dislike people like this. But if she wants the drama, no doubt her wedding plans will fall through. Dont stoop to her level of being drama… be calm, be level headed and be reasonable. There is no point in letting people bring you down enjoy your day!

    Post # 9
    Member
    1982 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Well, I thought about posting “call and let her have it” but I realized she would just feed off of that attention.

    Ignore her pathetic attempts for attention and go on with your wedding! Addressing it at all is what she wants you to do. Wink Good luck!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1336 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    Wow, that’s pretty hurtful.  She sounds very envious.  I would let her know that it was hurtful and that your wedding is happening and hopefully she can make it and leave it at that, even if you have to leave a message.  Be the bigger person and that way no matter how she reacts, you and your loved ones you tried.  Good luck!

    Post # 11
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i would take the low road here – and B*tch her out and cut off all communication, then probably regret it as soon as i did it,

    so do what i wouldnt do, which is call her and calmly explain how much she is hurting you and leave it at that. if she changes it fine, if not, theres always karma.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Two can play at this game!  I would just non chalantly talk to her and say,  “Oh, did you hear I’m moving my wedding to the week before.  [Make up some lies about how much it’s going to be so much more special now that you moved it]”  Maybe she’ll move her “pretend” wedding, too.  Just make sure you tell just her.  You don’t want anyone else knowing about it and getting all confused.

    She sounds like someone who would just laugh at your phone call to tell her off.  So this is what I would have to do.  I would call her bluff.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I say kill her with kindness.  She is trying to start drama.  Just mention that you are really sorry to hear that she won’t be coming to your wedding because you would have loved to have her there and also mention you are already under contract with your vendors…can’t move it.

    Be the bigger person and she’ll continue to look like the fool she is.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Not the best idea but i’ll give it a go:

    You could change the date of your wedding… an do not tell a soul.  Then when the invites go out people will know the real date.  She would have already planned so much (if it is a real wedding) that there could be no way that she can change it.

    You just have to be the bigger person as hard as it is.  Kill her with kindness.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Youch!

    Agree with all the other bees that the best thing you can do for you is concentrate on your wedding and enjoy the planning as much as possible.  Some people are just unkind, and it would be terrible if her meanness and spite infected this special time for you.

    Tempting though it may be to tell her off or let her know that she’s hurt you, I think it’s best to just ignore her.  She’ll either feed off the drama, or take pleasure in knowing that she’s hurt you, and that’s satisfaction she shouldn’t have!

    Post # 16
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I agree with those that said to ignore it. In these kinds of situations, the outcome is rarely as bad it it seems it will be. I’d be willing to put money down on this girl giving up as your wedding day approaches.

    And honestly? I think the sane members of your family would pick your wedding over hers if it came down to that. I mean, you did announce it first. I would hope most people in your family would recognize her crazy ways and take your side. If her sisters don’t show up, big deal. Two less people you have to shell out dinner money for 🙂

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