Post # 1
I’m new and this is my first post (as a side note, I really wish I woulda found this site prior to now, but oh well). So, here is what’s going on…
Bit of background: Not long after my sis met her now hubby, she introduced my brother to his cousin and they became friends. My brother in laws aunt adored my bro and sis. I was around some, but not as much as my bro and sis. Anyway, fast forward a few years later and my bro committed suicide, which needless to say, tore everyone up (it was about a week after my sister’s wedding). So, for awhile everyone was real big on family and support and all that. I became closer to the bro in law’s aunt and she told me and my sis she wanted to unofficially adopt us (since we are adults). My biological mother hasn’t been in the pic in some time and honestly is not missed.
Fast forward to “today”: My sister, “mother” and some others do not get along with my fiance and their way of dealing with being upset with him is to not tell him but to bad mouth him. My sister was suppose to be my Maid/Matron of Honor but told me she does not want to be in the wedding. She then told me at a later time she feels she owes it to me to at least be at the ceremony. WHAT?? I sent them both an email a couple of weeks ago telling them I needed emotional support (so stressed out for so many reasons) and was, in a nutshell, told no. I will have no siblings in my wedding and am extremely hurt by this.
I’m sorry this is so long, but I guess I’m wondering if anybody else is dealing with this kind of thing? Thanks for letting me vent.
Post # 3
Wow, I’m so sorry your going through this, it’s very sad to not have your family support and more so after going through a tragic event. Why is your Fiance not liked? I mean I think for starters you need to find out the Why and then see what can be done to resolve the problems and issues so everyone can at least tolerate it. Your Fiance doesn’t have to like your Fiance but they shouldn’t be bad mouthing him to you.
Post # 4
I agree..why don’t they like him?
If they are bad-mouthing him, but not being open with you, certainly they are in the wrong. But, it sounds to me like they def. really love you, and you should be able to talk to them.
Maybe they are afraid they are losing you in some way.
Post # 5
Well apparently my fiance said something that upset my sister, which he admitted to but said he didn’t mean any harm. The kicker is, none of this came to light to either of us until a MONTH after the fact. As if we are mind readers. Okay if she didn’t want to say anything to my fiance but I feel she should have told me. My fiance is upset because its breaking my heart but there isn’t anything he can do to help. If he would have known what he said upset her, he would have apologized and meant it. It may not have been accepted but he was never given the chance. I just don’t get how she and I used to be so close and now its so easy for her to pass my wedding off like its nothing.
Post # 6
what was it that he said?
Post # 7
Maybe it would help if your Fiance tried to apologize and let them know how much this is hurting you and that maybe for your sake, they could put differences aside for now, so you can be happy.
Post # 8
It is absolutely, positively never too late to apologize.
Post # 9
Honestly I’m not sure exactly what was said because everybody (including people who weren’t there at the time) say something different. I know I just have to let all of this run its course and such, but its of course, easier to say than to accept. I thought about asking her what he would have to do, say, etc to be possibly forgiven, but I doubt that would do any good. One moment sis says she won’t be in the wedding because of him and the next its because she is having marriage troubles and doesn’t know where her marriage will be at that point. So, we are both going through our own stuff and if we can get back to where we used to be someday, great and if not then I suppose it is what it is….