(Closed) family not attending

posted 8 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

both my husband and i had this talk – i have a family who i havent spoken to or seen almost for 15 years due to dramas between them and my parents, and my hubby has a huuuugggeeee family who he doesnt really see either. we had a destination wedding with just 9 guests and it was THE best choice ever. it’s your day, do it your way 🙂

Post # 4
2924 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I completely understand a lopsided attendance even though for me it’s because of distance and/or finances. I’m so sorry that you’re going through it. Even though my side are happy for me and want to be there, it’s still really demoralizing to look over the “will most probably  be there” list and see that it’s 90% his guests. Try to surround yourself in his family’s joy and support. Invite his family and then only close friends perhaps? In other words make sure the people who ARE there are as over the moon as the two of you are. That will make a world of difference as well. Also, that’s great that his family is expecting a big to-do with all of the trimmings, but it’s totally within your rights to pull back a little and make it what you want. What about a destination wedding like 

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littleG‘s sounds like a good choice. If it isn’t too remote or extravagant a place, his family can still go. ((Hugs))

Post # 5
9947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost… I see you are relatively NEW to WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Both Mr TTR and I are older… He’s in his 60s and I’m in my 50s.  We have both been married before for over 25 years, and at this age, we also have a lot of history behind us (other relationships etc)

We clearly knew from the start that we wanted to do something low key… having both had the BIG White Pouffy Family Weddings in our past

So we decided to Elope to a Destination Wedding… just the 2 of us saying our Vows on a Beach with the Officiant… NO ONE ELSE

It was wonderful for us.  Very romantic

And I still got to feel like a Bride… ivory Destination Wedding Dress, Bouquet, Flowers, Hair, Make-up.  And Mr TTR got dressed up (lol ok within reason afterall it was the Beach)

We stayed in an AMAZING Hotel overlooking the Straights of Florida, and went out for a wonderful meal ocean front after our ceremony.

Then we jetted off to San Juan for 2 nights, before boarding a Caribbean Cruise for a week meandering thru the Islands… and enjoying all that a cruise vacation affords in adventure and pampering.

The whole thing was INCREDIBLE !!  Best vacation of my life.

When we returned we sent out Invites for our Back Home Reception Party for Friends & Family.  Where we enjoyed Cocktails & Hors D’ouevres – Cake & Champagne – DJ & Dancing

We posed for photos, had a ceremonial cake cutting, and a first dance.  The party was AWESOME !!

We decided to forego making it all wedding-like, opting instead for a Celebration / Party atmosphere… but we could have done it however we wanted, as there are no real Etiquette Rules for a Back Home Celebration (Big – Little, Formal – Informal, Wedding-like or not)

The only real rule… is if you decide to say your vows again, then friends should be invited to a Vow Renewal vs a Wedding… or a “Celebration of your Recent Marriage”

I am sure you can find a happy medium… you’ll just have to take some time to think about it and what you want.

WBee was a good source of info and support for me when I first got engaged… and I’m sure it can be for you as well.

(( HUGS ))

Hope this helps,


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