- 7 years ago
- Wedding: July 2011
I’m having a wedding reception in July of next year. It’s a little odd because two years ago, I had a small religious wedding ceremony with my grandparents and a couple aunts and uncles. There was maybe 14 people total and it was very last minute, as in, we got dresses and stuff the day before.
Last year, we needed to get married legally so we were going to have a small ceremony, but his stepmom found out and the dessert party went from 20ish people to 60+ people at my boss’s backyard, all in the one month that I planned it in. I loved it, but none of my family came. They said it was because they weren’t “invited” but I had sent them all invitations, with as much notice as I had given other people.
Now, I’m planning a wedding reception for 200 people, so both sides of our family can actually meet. This was our plan in the first place because different parts of our famliy complained about the lack of a formal reception. Now, my MOH said that I look greedy because people will see me as having too many parties and soliciting for gifts. It’s really hurtful because my MOH didn’t even come to either of the other wedding parties we had. I’m worried because some other people have said that we shouldn’t have so many parties, but I feel like the party we did have can be likened to a bridal shower except I paid for it all myself and most people didn’t actually give us gifts (I didn’t actually expect it to receive gifts anyway, so it’s hurtful that people are saying we only want gifts).
The other thing is that in my culture, people have huge wedding parties that can last for an entire month and they have at least 5 different parties. Another one of my relatives got married in Bangladesh and everyone flew over there for an entire month for their wedding. I’m actually worried that people in my family from Texas won’t fly from there to Michigan for my wedding reception. Last month, some of my family from Texas drove from Texas to Canada, literally through the city I live in, and they did not stop by despite my inviting them. They weren’t in a hurry or anything, they just decided not to stop by, and other members of the family grudgingly admitted that it was very rude of them.
What should I do? Should I just cancel the reception because people will think I’m greedy? I’ve always dreamed of having a reception where my family will be there but I can’t even tell anymore if they love me enough to come. My father in law really wants the wedding reception to be a fusion of cultures and a time for the families to get together and show thier support for us as a couple, but I’m so scared that my family won’t even come. My MOH (who is family) even said she wouldn’t come if her parents decided not to come.
I’m really not sure about having a wedding reception. The whole time when we had gotten relgiously married and then legally married at the courthouse, we thought that we were going to have a bigger reception later so everyone could come. His family was waiting for it, and my family said they were waiting for it, too. Now, it just feels like my family doesn’t even care even though I’m making lots of concessions so that they can come and have a good time (food restrictions, no dancing because they’re religious, etc).
Does anyone have any advice for what I should do?